Pines
@oldpines.bsky.social
45 | he/they | pan
Just a married genderquizzical tree with a transmasc sapling in college, living on the high plains east of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Once a writer, sometimes a puma, always a tree. Paganish.
Just a married genderquizzical tree with a transmasc sapling in college, living on the high plains east of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Once a writer, sometimes a puma, always a tree. Paganish.
Back in late ‘99 and early ‘00, I faffed about on the Twin Cities MSN chat room. It was a fun mix of group chat and silly role play. old_pines actually dates back to those days.
Recently, I’ve been missing that silly role play aspect. Wiliest having a piss break a minute ago, I imagined a Horror.
Recently, I’ve been missing that silly role play aspect. Wiliest having a piss break a minute ago, I imagined a Horror.
January 14, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Back in late ‘99 and early ‘00, I faffed about on the Twin Cities MSN chat room. It was a fun mix of group chat and silly role play. old_pines actually dates back to those days.
Recently, I’ve been missing that silly role play aspect. Wiliest having a piss break a minute ago, I imagined a Horror.
Recently, I’ve been missing that silly role play aspect. Wiliest having a piss break a minute ago, I imagined a Horror.
What the fuck Is this “Facebook in 2006” bullshit and why is it at the top of the screen where a motherfucker’s thumb can’t reach?
January 14, 2026 at 10:45 PM
What the fuck Is this “Facebook in 2006” bullshit and why is it at the top of the screen where a motherfucker’s thumb can’t reach?
It sucks, but I cannot justify the cost of maintaining the website(s) anymore. It won't happen immediately, but the sites and domain will be junked. I'm going to try to…no. I'm probably not going to bother putting in effort to retrieve any of my stories before scrapping the lot.
January 14, 2026 at 6:04 PM
It sucks, but I cannot justify the cost of maintaining the website(s) anymore. It won't happen immediately, but the sites and domain will be junked. I'm going to try to…no. I'm probably not going to bother putting in effort to retrieve any of my stories before scrapping the lot.
Sometimes you find yourself thinking “nothing’s ever gonna get better”. Sometimes you’re right.
January 14, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Sometimes you find yourself thinking “nothing’s ever gonna get better”. Sometimes you’re right.
Reposted by Pines
Since it apparently must be said again:
The use of Generative AI at any point in the composition of a piece of writing does mean, according to our policies, that it is ineligible to be read on The Voice of Dog.
"Just for research" is not an acceptable excuse.
The use of Generative AI at any point in the composition of a piece of writing does mean, according to our policies, that it is ineligible to be read on The Voice of Dog.
"Just for research" is not an acceptable excuse.
January 9, 2026 at 10:02 PM
Since it apparently must be said again:
The use of Generative AI at any point in the composition of a piece of writing does mean, according to our policies, that it is ineligible to be read on The Voice of Dog.
"Just for research" is not an acceptable excuse.
The use of Generative AI at any point in the composition of a piece of writing does mean, according to our policies, that it is ineligible to be read on The Voice of Dog.
"Just for research" is not an acceptable excuse.
Reposted by Pines
Do you think animals recognize themselves in their reflections in puddles?
It'd make it pretty hard to drink water if every time you looked in it you saw a strange animal pushing its face toward you.
It'd make it pretty hard to drink water if every time you looked in it you saw a strange animal pushing its face toward you.
Do you think animals recognize themselves in their reflections in puddles?
It'd make it pretty hard to drink water if every time you looked in it you saw a strange animal pushing its face toward you.
ask.oldpines.wtf
January 7, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Do you think animals recognize themselves in their reflections in puddles?
It'd make it pretty hard to drink water if every time you looked in it you saw a strange animal pushing its face toward you.
It'd make it pretty hard to drink water if every time you looked in it you saw a strange animal pushing its face toward you.
You know, it’s amusing* how poorly the lesson from the Emperor’s New Clothes has been retained.
*I am not in my twenties anymore, so it is not actually amusing. It’s exhausting and demoralizing.
*I am not in my twenties anymore, so it is not actually amusing. It’s exhausting and demoralizing.
January 7, 2026 at 5:07 PM
You know, it’s amusing* how poorly the lesson from the Emperor’s New Clothes has been retained.
*I am not in my twenties anymore, so it is not actually amusing. It’s exhausting and demoralizing.
*I am not in my twenties anymore, so it is not actually amusing. It’s exhausting and demoralizing.
Can i ask you about a scenario involving kinda enforced tickling?
The question that followed was: “You're on a field and without any footware. Now the grass tickles your feet on every step – how would you like that?” The answer to the first question is: You can ask, but I may not answer. The…
The question that followed was: “You're on a field and without any footware. Now the grass tickles your feet on every step – how would you like that?” The answer to the first question is: You can ask, but I may not answer. The…
Can i ask you about a scenario involving kinda enforced tickling?
The question that followed was: “You're on a field and without any footware. Now the grass tickles your feet on every step – how would you like that?” The answer to the first question is: You can ask, but I may not answer. The answer to the second question is: My feet are pretty thickly calloused, so grass isn’t all that ticklish to me even when my feet are bare.
ask.oldpines.wtf
January 5, 2026 at 8:14 PM
Can i ask you about a scenario involving kinda enforced tickling?
The question that followed was: “You're on a field and without any footware. Now the grass tickles your feet on every step – how would you like that?” The answer to the first question is: You can ask, but I may not answer. The…
The question that followed was: “You're on a field and without any footware. Now the grass tickles your feet on every step – how would you like that?” The answer to the first question is: You can ask, but I may not answer. The…
How would you get the shop owner [sour-looking bodega cat] to smile.
This one came with a Bluesky link, included below. And the answer is, stop hemming and hawing over what you want and just fucking buy something already.
This one came with a Bluesky link, included below. And the answer is, stop hemming and hawing over what you want and just fucking buy something already.
How would you get the shop owner [sour-looking bodega cat] to smile.
This one came with a Bluesky link, included below. And the answer is, stop hemming and hawing over what you want and just fucking buy something already.
ask.oldpines.wtf
January 5, 2026 at 8:04 PM
How would you get the shop owner [sour-looking bodega cat] to smile.
This one came with a Bluesky link, included below. And the answer is, stop hemming and hawing over what you want and just fucking buy something already.
This one came with a Bluesky link, included below. And the answer is, stop hemming and hawing over what you want and just fucking buy something already.
Poompoom fluffy?
A tad soft around the middle, yes. Wait, not what you meant? Pretty hairy, yeah. Wait…also not what you meant?
A tad soft around the middle, yes. Wait, not what you meant? Pretty hairy, yeah. Wait…also not what you meant?
Poompoom fluffy?
A tad soft around the middle, yes. Wait, not what you meant? Pretty hairy, yeah. Wait…also not what you meant?
ask.oldpines.wtf
January 5, 2026 at 7:58 PM
Poompoom fluffy?
A tad soft around the middle, yes. Wait, not what you meant? Pretty hairy, yeah. Wait…also not what you meant?
A tad soft around the middle, yes. Wait, not what you meant? Pretty hairy, yeah. Wait…also not what you meant?
A diner dilemma
“It's late, you're hungry and stop at a diner. Inside, there's no free table, but most are just occupied by one person: - a bobcat - a lynx - a grizzly - a house cat There’s also two wolves, a group of beavers, and a raccoon with two foxes. Where do you ask for a seat, how will…
“It's late, you're hungry and stop at a diner. Inside, there's no free table, but most are just occupied by one person: - a bobcat - a lynx - a grizzly - a house cat There’s also two wolves, a group of beavers, and a raccoon with two foxes. Where do you ask for a seat, how will…
A diner dilemma
“It's late, you're hungry and stop at a diner. Inside, there's no free table, but most are just occupied by one person: - a bobcat - a lynx - a grizzly - a house cat There’s also two wolves, a group of beavers, and a raccoon with two foxes. Where do you ask for a seat, how will they behave and what do they eat?”
ask.oldpines.wtf
January 5, 2026 at 7:56 PM
A diner dilemma
“It's late, you're hungry and stop at a diner. Inside, there's no free table, but most are just occupied by one person: - a bobcat - a lynx - a grizzly - a house cat There’s also two wolves, a group of beavers, and a raccoon with two foxes. Where do you ask for a seat, how will…
“It's late, you're hungry and stop at a diner. Inside, there's no free table, but most are just occupied by one person: - a bobcat - a lynx - a grizzly - a house cat There’s also two wolves, a group of beavers, and a raccoon with two foxes. Where do you ask for a seat, how will…
Look, y’all, politics is complicated and we can just never know the true reason behind the…
Or, we can just sit around while they dispense with pretense altogether. I swear evil felt competent once upon a time.
Or, we can just sit around while they dispense with pretense altogether. I swear evil felt competent once upon a time.
January 3, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Look, y’all, politics is complicated and we can just never know the true reason behind the…
Or, we can just sit around while they dispense with pretense altogether. I swear evil felt competent once upon a time.
Or, we can just sit around while they dispense with pretense altogether. I swear evil felt competent once upon a time.
We are as we have always been.
January 3, 2026 at 6:33 PM
We are as we have always been.
Doing some training with a little friend.
January 2, 2026 at 9:16 PM
Doing some training with a little friend.
Y’know, one of the admirable things about pig farmers is that they don’t shy away from calling what they feed their pigs exactly what it is.
Granted, they also don’t try and convince the pigs that it’s high cuisine, and the pigs aren’t emotionally attached to thinking that they’re horses.
Granted, they also don’t try and convince the pigs that it’s high cuisine, and the pigs aren’t emotionally attached to thinking that they’re horses.
January 2, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Y’know, one of the admirable things about pig farmers is that they don’t shy away from calling what they feed their pigs exactly what it is.
Granted, they also don’t try and convince the pigs that it’s high cuisine, and the pigs aren’t emotionally attached to thinking that they’re horses.
Granted, they also don’t try and convince the pigs that it’s high cuisine, and the pigs aren’t emotionally attached to thinking that they’re horses.
Hi, I’m electricity, gravity, major depression, getting my head stuck on the cervix on the way out, and a three or four cars.
January 2, 2026 at 7:35 PM
Hi, I’m electricity, gravity, major depression, getting my head stuck on the cervix on the way out, and a three or four cars.
Welp, here’s to another year surrounded by lovely people who make the terrors less terrible.
January 1, 2026 at 7:00 AM
Welp, here’s to another year surrounded by lovely people who make the terrors less terrible.
Where to find Coyoteville?
Weirdly, halfway between Fair Play, California and Fiddletown, California. I would have thought halfway between Weed and Grand Larceny.
Weirdly, halfway between Fair Play, California and Fiddletown, California. I would have thought halfway between Weed and Grand Larceny.
Where to find Coyoteville?
Weirdly, halfway between Fair Play, California and Fiddletown, California. I would have thought halfway between Weed and Grand Larceny.
ask.oldpines.wtf
December 31, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Where to find Coyoteville?
Weirdly, halfway between Fair Play, California and Fiddletown, California. I would have thought halfway between Weed and Grand Larceny.
Weirdly, halfway between Fair Play, California and Fiddletown, California. I would have thought halfway between Weed and Grand Larceny.
Ooh! Apparently New Mexico Museum of Natural History & Science is looking for a Curator of Paleontology. Hey, @restingdinoface.bsky.social, know any field-weary boners with an interest in museum work and a high tolerance for meth?
December 30, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Ooh! Apparently New Mexico Museum of Natural History & Science is looking for a Curator of Paleontology. Hey, @restingdinoface.bsky.social, know any field-weary boners with an interest in museum work and a high tolerance for meth?
A drunk novice cast Dispel without a target and half of the guild hall fell apart. No, literally fell apart. Some clever fucker had magically assembled the structure centuries ago. It took two years, but the guild finally got the hall rebuilt by masons instead of mages.
What was “the incident” at your mages guild?
December 29, 2025 at 6:07 PM
A drunk novice cast Dispel without a target and half of the guild hall fell apart. No, literally fell apart. Some clever fucker had magically assembled the structure centuries ago. It took two years, but the guild finally got the hall rebuilt by masons instead of mages.
What ketchup goes best with pines?
Alright now, look here, you damned beavers. Some tree characters may be into your brand of slow-paced fractional vore, but this one isn't. You just keep those pearly whites well away from my trunk, and go pester the poplars.
Alright now, look here, you damned beavers. Some tree characters may be into your brand of slow-paced fractional vore, but this one isn't. You just keep those pearly whites well away from my trunk, and go pester the poplars.
What ketchup goes best with pines?
Alright now, look here, you damned beavers. Some tree characters may be into your brand of slow-paced fractional vore, but this one isn't. You just keep those pearly whites well away from my trunk, and go pester the poplars.
ask.oldpines.wtf
December 29, 2025 at 5:12 PM
What ketchup goes best with pines?
Alright now, look here, you damned beavers. Some tree characters may be into your brand of slow-paced fractional vore, but this one isn't. You just keep those pearly whites well away from my trunk, and go pester the poplars.
Alright now, look here, you damned beavers. Some tree characters may be into your brand of slow-paced fractional vore, but this one isn't. You just keep those pearly whites well away from my trunk, and go pester the poplars.
How to protect ones tail of freezing temperatures?
If you don't wanna freeze your tail off, you could get tail warmers in various styles and colors. Knitted, crocheted, sewn…the options are as myriad as the craftspeople who create them. Another option, if you have sensory issues and can't wear…
If you don't wanna freeze your tail off, you could get tail warmers in various styles and colors. Knitted, crocheted, sewn…the options are as myriad as the craftspeople who create them. Another option, if you have sensory issues and can't wear…
How to protect ones tail of freezing temperatures?
If you don't wanna freeze your tail off, you could get tail warmers in various styles and colors. Knitted, crocheted, sewn…the options are as myriad as the craftspeople who create them. Another option, if you have sensory issues and can't wear something on your tail like that, is to wear coats that fall past your hips and curl your tail around you beneath the coat.
ask.oldpines.wtf
December 29, 2025 at 5:05 PM
How to protect ones tail of freezing temperatures?
If you don't wanna freeze your tail off, you could get tail warmers in various styles and colors. Knitted, crocheted, sewn…the options are as myriad as the craftspeople who create them. Another option, if you have sensory issues and can't wear…
If you don't wanna freeze your tail off, you could get tail warmers in various styles and colors. Knitted, crocheted, sewn…the options are as myriad as the craftspeople who create them. Another option, if you have sensory issues and can't wear…
Reposted by Pines
I got one final "gift" this holiday season. A few months back I had severe chest pains & a well-meaning family member called an ambulance. I refused transport but they billed $600 just for showing up. I'm already underwater. If anyone wants to help, feel free to DM here or on telegram.
December 29, 2025 at 4:50 PM
I got one final "gift" this holiday season. A few months back I had severe chest pains & a well-meaning family member called an ambulance. I refused transport but they billed $600 just for showing up. I'm already underwater. If anyone wants to help, feel free to DM here or on telegram.