Remember, you are never truly alone...

Kid:*Hands me salami sandwich*
Me:*disassembles sandwich, reassembles symmetrically*
Kid: Why!?
Me: Because fuck you, that's why!

Just once, I'd love to put maybe 2 weeks of reasonable temperatures between our summer of 100+ degree days and our winter of freezing nights. The whiplash is always brutal.

Never would have thought of this, but I'll be damned if it doesn't actually work...

What kind of dipshit orders a petite filet mignon? FFS, unless we're talking wellington, go for a better tasting cut, or at least have the stones to order the big ass filet. Also, ordering medium well or well should be punishable by imprisonment.

Just realized after shitcanning Facebook that I lack a forum to announce that I am inebriated, and I can't cope, so here we go! Whiskey and lemon sweet tea is an absolute creeper and I drank over half the bottle of whiskey (it's ok, I'm big, that's barely enough to put me over .08, lol).

Thanksgiving dinner in progress. Can't wait for the turkey to finish!

God, it's attack of the porn spam followers around here. I'm very pro sex worker, but these people are complete assholes. If you are a porn scammer and I don't follow you, the only thing adding me will do is get you reported for spamming and blocked.

I may have hit my literary peak last night. After substantial intake of green things, I was having a "disagreement" with someone online, and I managed to put together:

"You're such an ass that your pronouns are he/haw"

Things you overhear watching YouTube videos at 3am: "This is not the Fanta's genitalia. Warts can happen anywhere, you know that!"

I would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to Cox Communications for the timely email I received at 11:58pm letting me know that they have upcoming scheduled maintenance starting in 2 minutes and lasting up to 12 hours, during which time all internet and television services will be unavailable. ❤️🖕

I'm super excited for the possibilities this may offer. I'm always looking for new and accessibility friendly controllers due to some physical limitations, and this looks SUPER promising for RPGs and other games that may otherwise be cumbersome.

I had every intention of trying to get some Dave the Diver or Elden Ring in tonight, but it turned into vegging out watching random YouTube videos.

Look at me, being on the cutting edge of up and coming ways to piss off Elon!