Be a social recluse will do that to you, but I didn't know before. Having realized it now is disintegrating me.

I guess I'll edit some goddamn file trees. Maybe that'll help (it won't)

Is this what it feels like to hyperfixate on something, because this whole thing is rocking the foundation of my being. None of the usual distractions are working and re-engaging with the work makes it worse.

How am I supposed to express the whole breadth of things I'm feeling about this to people I intentionally keep at arms length because I think they find me irritating on some level when I'm vulnerable around them. This is entirely unfair to them.

Because I want them to still like me afterwards and I know the full weight of what I'm feeling would feel like a hydraulic press to the brain on whomever is inflicted with it.

Not having a single person in my life that I would fell comfortable talking about this with is not helping. I am in a rapidly expanding void of uncomfortable personal realizations and everyone I know would either be useless to help or someone I don't want to burden with these emotions.

No, Abolish DHS and abolish ICE you worthless stooge