Every part of us matters. Even young parts. Even aggressive parts that are hard to like or empathize with. Even parts that seem to wish us harm or want us dead. Every part matters, & every part needs to know they matter to us if we're going to work a sustainable trauma recovery.

Remember that "disorder" & "disordered" are terms invented & valued by diagnosticians & researchers-- but it's not, actually, "disordered" to react & defend against pain, fear, & sadness in ways humans are designed & have evolved to react & defend against pain, fear, & sadness.

Our job in trauma recovery is not to "fix" our parts. They don't need "fixing." It's to understand, validate, & support our parts-- that is to say, to rebuild, or maybe build for the first time, a relationship w/ ourselves that is dependable, safe, & non-toxic.

What a concept.

"Young" parts of us don't need-- or appreciate, generally-- being infantilized or condescended to. They hold developmentally "young" memories & experiences, but they need to know they are seen & respected & needed just as much as our more "adult" parts in trauma recovery.

There is no shame in wanting or needing connection. Survivors often have parts that are afraid of or furious about or disgusted by our need or want for attachment-- but we gotta remind ourselves, over & over again, those needs aren't "stupid" or inappropriately "childish."

We don't dissociate because we're "weak" or even necessarily afraid. We dissociate because the human nervous system finds an escape route even when escape is physically impossible.

Managing dissociation starts by acknowledging it as the near miraculous super power that it is.