500 more songs

and i feel more comfy talking about it now but yea i really freaking miss my bands. kitty hell was my favorite time in a band ever. thurzdaze was cheesy drawn out psych but i love cheesy drawn out psych. jaw felt like it was gonna birth some of the most mature music i could play. rip

hmm complete fallout with longtime bandmate and best friend + losing like 40 songs i fell so in love with playing every week + temporary break up + starting work + spending half my week away from friends hmmm yea maybe this summer lowkey sucked

to clarify balding would kinda rock i love my hair but i hate how much i have/want to take care of it

call it a wrap but i just feel so stepped on.

i was blocked for a month and literally the first direct message i get is an update on mixing notes. apparently playing a show this month that the one i’m still friends with was under impression of? so it seems there’s no communication within them itself like. idk i would totally play the show to

like someone the other day said that their riff was shitty and I was like “who cares” and they took that as if I also thought it was shitty so what gives. But alas who cares because what one person considers shitty could always be transformed and realized to its fullest potential

maybe it’s also the plunderphonics sample brain where I feel like every sound ever can be transformed into something even cooler and even personal to oneself

the world has become far too estranged to weirdos

something something capitalism guilt for not putting more of my stuff out there for gain when i really really just wanna keep it all cherished and make it for my own sanity.

feels so paradoxical to stress so heavy about something so personal and how to get that personal shit into everyone’s hands like maybe there’s a beauty and it’s perfect in group settings idk maybe I’m just wired wrong

need to just stop being online maybe