For the people who have been tagging me in appeals, I’m not ignoring you, I will get back to you when I return to this site and will be working through appeals from the earliest made to the most recent, so it may take a while to get through them all.

Bad time to post this bestie bsky.app/profile/o7ri...

Oh, and its description as “the best health service in the world” while dentistry was not included as free has always been a headcase’s assessment btw.

Nye Bevan is now turning in his grave so intensely he could be used as a renewable energy source.

That’s a pretty bad habit I’ve developed ngl 😭 the weather’s also really shitty here so it doesn’t exactly encourage me outside.

Honestly why I’m so grateful for the friends I’ve made online in the last few weeks, I can talk any time and there’s no risk of them getting pissy bc I haven’t seen them

True I guess…

The brain being mean to me is well-documented lol

It feels like the embodiment of the snake eating itself tbh

Doesn’t help that pretty much everyone in a position of power to ever help me has declined that, but I don’t mean to individually dump shit on you, so I’ll leave it there

The things I said on voice earlier disgust me to even think about because I feel like being vulnerable with others and sharing my pain with people already feeling pain is wrong.

They may say it’s ok. But it feels inherently bad of me to do, and that’s probably a huge barrier for my mental health.

Too many times, I have been accused of trauma dumping by people who have done the same unto me, and because the thing I want to do least in life is trouble others who don’t deserve it I always keep a lid on things until it explodes into rant spirals like I’m doing rn. And even now I’m censoring.

I can’t talk about how I truly feel because I both don’t have the words to describe it sometimes, and even when I do, my internal voice is so pessimistic and negative when it all comes crashing down that I feel like it’s honestly triggering to share the reality of with others.

Tysm <33

I know there shouldn’t be, I’ve just a lot of insecurities regarding that kind of stuff picked up from people who I wasted my time trying to impress.

I also imagine people who are worse off than I am (despite the likelihood) giving me money and it makes me feel real guilt for asking :(

I just wanna put myself and my sanity first this time, because it’s been an unhealthy habit of mine to put everyone else’s needs before my own throughout my life.

My fam’s in pretending to be someone I am not, my ex-gf in genuinely countless ways, and friends who did not genuinely care for me.

My family is poor (and abusive) I am in 60k of student debt (with no degree) and at one point I had so little money I was starving most of the day bc I didn’t want to pay for food to be honest.

I have no savings, and am trapped in an abusive family situation in a place with no opportunity to grow

So yeah. Apologies if I’m gone a while.

When I feel like this it can last days, weeks, months, so I’m not putting a date on when I’ll be back.

I won’t be gone for months. But I could see a week.

It’ll probably be a day, 2, maybe 3.

But I’m sorry.

I’m currently living off universal credit and have been in and out of couch surfing and different houses for the past 2 years, all while doing the self-discovery journey which made me realise I was trans.

I need help in a time state support is being stripped away from all aspects of my life.

I’m not trying to guilt trip anyone, I just want it to be clear that I haven’t just “opened appeals” and then just fucked off when I actually start getting them.

I wish I’d the mental headspace to just do them now, but I’d not be fully assessing them and I owe it to everyone to do better than that.

I’ve tried this year to get some diagnostic help with these issues, but I’ve been refused any further investigation until I’m diagnosed for autism, which is a 52 month (I am not joking) waiting list.

Frankly, I would not be shocked if I was dead before being diagnosed.

My friends are suggesting I fundraise bc I live in the middle of nowhere and there’s not really any training opportunities for work I would be able to do with the volatility of my mental health, but I think I would feel awful taking other people’s money.

Also, only fucking weirdos call it X

that number.

Apologies you were added in the first place, I know it's an imperfect method but it's the best I can do with the tools provided and the over-extension is why I've now made it clear in the title that I encourage appeals.