message to all celebrities: my apartment is available for $5000/hour if you need to look poor for an apology video, hit me up if you’re interested

earth is littered with the bones of empires that believed themselves to be endless

why are fucking porn bots following me

THIS PLACE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER

if you help create porn bots or in any way contribute to the problem i genuinely hope that your harvests never prosper and you are a cold sad human being forever

if i’m eating with a tea spoon don’t offer me a big one i am having a fabulous time and i know exactly what i’m doing

waow i’m a healthy weight again who would have thought

it’d be so nice if everything could just fucking stop for 10 seconds so i could actually use my brain

aight nah the aerial top down sequence in john wick 4 is fucking incredible

the spell worked

TRAGIC…….ytp ship’s captain sees SOS, says “yoy” and reverses all the way back into port . many such cases

i will not be calling twitter X
i will be deadnaming it

have y’all seen the golden cow it’s pretty dope ngl. might even be cooler than god

the pope bangs his staff on the floor of the sistine chapel and demands a chicken crunch wrap supreme from taco bell. flakes of paint fall from the ceiling.

we made it, ma