hi its me I would happily spend $3000 a month on fish and assorted aquaria

I'm not allowed to keep sharp pointy things in my room lmao

I used to welcome it. I reveled in watching it run down my legs, and be happy that it stained my bedsheets.

now I try not to see it. I haven't had the urges in nearly two months. I'm recovering from the self-harm

I've been wearing a bandage over an area I scratched my skin off of, I've been putting plasters over cat scratches. 3 months ago I'd never have done those thing, I'd've just let the blood run

I know I'm getting better cos my relationship to blood has changed

I've been really trying to not see blood lately, so I don't get urges to harm myself. my hand has some on it, so does my blanket cos my first thought was to wipe my hand on it. I feel bad

the weather app on my phone says it's 30C, so in real life it's closer to 40. the measurement is at the airport, a large grassy area with shade trees. and I am in town, a large concrete and tarmac area.

I can't do this. I'm giving it until my Dr's appointment on the 27th, then I might couch surf around some friends. I can't leave my fish or the cats, or my younger sister. it'll break my heart to leave my fishies but I don't know if I can stay

it's the not saying goodbye that's getting to me. I have no idea if she's ever coming back. I needed her more than I knew to support my mental issues. and to support dad. she was the only person I could talk to face to face about me stuff. and now she's abandoned us

literally she left her business, went and got her toothbrush and toothpaste, her get out money, and the car. and dipped. not returning anyone's calls, haven't heard from her in days. so now me and my sister are out here caring for dad, something she promised we'd never have to do.

11. good try but I am not paying my taxes