do NOT get the hotdogs from the bodega on the corner of 5th and 3rd, that shit gave me botulism.

who at disney decided a guy with this fuck-ass hairline could play ME? I’m honestly offended and disney will be hearing from my lawyers

Slinging on that shit

Hob-goblin just told me to “slob on his gob” mid-fight. is this grounds for me to break my “never kill” rule

Why the hell am I broke. I stop crimes and have great relationships with all the nearby bodegas, and they just don’t feed me??? Might have to start a Spider-tax.

“Spider-Man do people like him”

J. Jonah Jameson is upset about me swiping that rope. Says it’s a “Spider-Hazard” if i figure out how Oscorp made it. Jokes on him, if I do reverse engineer it, it just means MJ can enjoy herself more tonight

Oscorp’s R&D department made spider-resistance rope to stop me, brought some home to spice up things with MJ

slinging on that shit

that prick ganke stole Miles' suit and wore it for fun again. Stretched it out. Thankfully Rio is a fabric genius, so Miles is back in action!

Some lady told me to shoot her with my spider-goo. anyway a woman is stuck hanging upside down on the empire state building if anyone wants to save her

MJ kicked me out of the house again. Apparently “Spider-selfies” was not a sufficient excuse to miss our date.