You got...

Master Porthos

Swords Artisan

Quote "Every time I win a duel I eat one Cheese-ed Burger"

I'm fuckin pumped for this

What about "and other things of that nature" but in a way that makes it ambiguous as to whether it's a Stephen A bit?

National elementary school essay contest with the winner getting to draw up the plans!

That's fair. I'm just saying if that's what's stopping you from getting tattoos, go for it

I mean, the thing is you don't need to do THAT much research. It's harder to accidentally get a nazi tattoo, AND find an artist who will do it than you might think

This is basically the plot of Wristcutters: A Love Story, which is a pretty good movie

Sometimes you gotta put a big hole in your house and sometimes youre the president and sometimes it's both things at once!

I bet it's fine

When will people learn that you should only like wrestlers' on screen gimmicks and never ever look into all the reasons you should definitely dislike almost everything else

So he's been found then!? Tremendous news!