One possible benefit of Gaetz becoming AG:
The stress of the job may make him frown hard enough that his forehead tears and flops in front of his face while driving, leading to hi-larious 'Herbie Goes Bananas' style hi-jinks .

Elden Ring. Or as I have come to know it: Elden psdljdgjkrjrfkfbnbn Ring.

Jonathan Ashworth is The Keymaster, Thangam Debbonaire is The Gatekeeper and when they inevitably meet up in the ITV greenroom, together they will usher in a new era of darkness.

Neuralink guy wakes up to find himself in a street he doesn't recognize.

He stands back from the wall he is facing and sees he has scrawled 'JEZERO CRATER' in huge letters with the stump of his wrist. He doesn't know where his hand is but he feels no pain.

He i s th e fi rs t

Imagine if Elon was liked, was actually pretty funny and insightful (at least at times), and was generally pushing positive things to happen on his platform, with bad actors, spam and bots gone.

Look how far away that vague idea feels. Imagine the shift that would have to happen for it to be true.

Me, first day: Greetings Citizen! Would you erm...mind picking up that can? Sorry to bother you.

Supervisor: ......better.

Neuralink guy wakes up to find himself in a street he doesn't recognize.

He stands back from the wall he is facing and sees he has scrawled 'JEZERO CRATER' in huge letters with the stump of his wrist. He doesn't know where his hand is but he feels no pain.

He i s th e fi rs t

Ok here's the deal: To be on my app, you have to butter my biscuits. You can say anything you like and be a complete psycho, but if you also rim my ridge then it's all good.

Oh and fuck Mars - Mars is for losers. We're going to Enceladus, bitches.

'Good day, Neuralink user #1138,

You can't remember what your favorite band is, can you?

If you wish to have that memory, and a number of others back, you must send $500 worth of BitCoin to this address and we will release the ransomware partition.

PS, What was your first pet's name? lol'

While it currently looks depressing for creatives, I honestly believe that sooner or later a case or some kind of backlash which forces companies to start pushing 'Not made with AI' type promotion to get customers back will happen.

It's a very big wheel and it will eventually come back around.

fuck it, here's Fast X

The Apes are all dead
at the top of their poles

Greetings, adventurer! May I interest you in some fine posts?

All my apes...fungled.

Here's the plan: Elon is attracting all the chuds to his yard so they happily get neuralink implants to own the libs. Then he switches off their 'I'm a tool' neural centers and takes all the credit for ushering in world peace.

Or zombie Mars army where he ends up doing a Jonestown in Jezero Crater.

I seem to be doomed for the rest of my life to scroll or swipe with my thumb. My thumb's gonna get so ripped.

When it was just Twitter, you could imagine that Elon might give up or fail at some point. But now he's converted it into 'X - The Everything App', he's trapped forever.
Like a genie trapped in a lamp, granting wishes to passing nazis who stroke his ego.

Where the t-shirt ads at?