Man, Bluesky text limit is really not compatible with my long-winded rambling. How on earth am I supposed to accurately describe a funny situation? A thread? Ew.

my cat is pretty

I'll never be iridescent and it eats me up inside.

Apologies for posting an AI designed window decal, but this Naruto + Martin Luther cell phone thing I saw today was too bizarre.

I hope whoever asked google "Is fergalicious a real word?" is doing well.

stolen shamelessly from one of my Discord servers

Top three ways to tell someone to go away without naughty language:

Bronze: Kick rocks.
Silver: Go fly a kite.
Gold: Pound sand.

The hardest thing about being the bigger person online is deleting the absolute banger roasts I type out before I ever post them.

Update, the police never showed up. Probably because they do not care that a truck got stuck in the mud by her house.

Insane shit: A neighbor is calling Polizei on us because a delivery truck lost control in the mud and got stuck in front of her house, and abandoned the truck.

I had an Amazon delivery at 5:41 PM yesterday that backed up to my house. It wasn't raining all day. There was no mud.

Thinking of making TikTok videos. Do we really need another "American in Germany" account, though?

I can't taste my delicious ramen, but I can taste this wretched licorice-flavored cold medicine, proving once again the the universe is cruel, unjust, and there is no loving god being watching over me.

German version of Vick's Nyquil is Wick MediNait and it tastes like black licorice.

Fantastic if you're one of those people that loves licorice. I am not one of those. Ew.