me to my wife when our cat runs in the house

i think we should stop debating who the GOATS are and settle for the GOOTS - the greatest of OUR time.

me greeting the bathtub drain after a couple beers

thank god jimmy carter got to live long enough to see the rise and fall of hawk tuah

whether you think it tastes good or not we all have to acknowledge how fucking insane it is to name a drink “egg nog”

i never finished squid game and i never intend to. follow me for more #edgy takes.

would love to know what the grinch got on the meyers-briggs test