Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe
@novascotiapowery.bsky.social
I want your money!!!!
As we wait for the New Years ball drop (and hopefully not the voltage), we wanted to take a moment to reflect on our favorite part of the past year: Your Monthly Statement.
While you were making resolutions to spend less, we were making resolutions to charge more.
It’s all about balance
#blessed
While you were making resolutions to spend less, we were making resolutions to charge more.
It’s all about balance
#blessed
December 27, 2025 at 8:13 PM
As we wait for the New Years ball drop (and hopefully not the voltage), we wanted to take a moment to reflect on our favorite part of the past year: Your Monthly Statement.
While you were making resolutions to spend less, we were making resolutions to charge more.
It’s all about balance
#blessed
While you were making resolutions to spend less, we were making resolutions to charge more.
It’s all about balance
#blessed
We know there's a lot of you without power right now.
not to worry.
when we estimate your bills, we will make sure to charge for the time you didn't have power, cause, realistically, if the power WAS on, you'd be charged for it anyway, so....we see no reason to change that.
#blessed
not to worry.
when we estimate your bills, we will make sure to charge for the time you didn't have power, cause, realistically, if the power WAS on, you'd be charged for it anyway, so....we see no reason to change that.
#blessed
December 20, 2025 at 1:54 AM
We know there's a lot of you without power right now.
not to worry.
when we estimate your bills, we will make sure to charge for the time you didn't have power, cause, realistically, if the power WAS on, you'd be charged for it anyway, so....we see no reason to change that.
#blessed
not to worry.
when we estimate your bills, we will make sure to charge for the time you didn't have power, cause, realistically, if the power WAS on, you'd be charged for it anyway, so....we see no reason to change that.
#blessed
Big storm coming! Tree branches meet power lines. Power lines meet the ground. You meet a very expensive emergency service fee.
#PowelessButNotPenniless
#PowelessButNotPenniless
December 18, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Big storm coming! Tree branches meet power lines. Power lines meet the ground. You meet a very expensive emergency service fee.
#PowelessButNotPenniless
#PowelessButNotPenniless
We are hearing a lot of grumbling about the 25,000 (allegedly) customers offline right now.
we hear you.
If everyone had paid their *estimated* bill on time, this would have never happened.
#onyourownhead
we hear you.
If everyone had paid their *estimated* bill on time, this would have never happened.
#onyourownhead
December 3, 2025 at 3:52 PM
We are hearing a lot of grumbling about the 25,000 (allegedly) customers offline right now.
we hear you.
If everyone had paid their *estimated* bill on time, this would have never happened.
#onyourownhead
we hear you.
If everyone had paid their *estimated* bill on time, this would have never happened.
#onyourownhead
We're so proud to announce another record-breaking quarter! Your astronomically higher bills make our private jets slightly shinier.
Thanks for fueling our future!!!
#blessed
#tistheseason
Thanks for fueling our future!!!
#blessed
#tistheseason
November 25, 2025 at 9:04 PM
We're so proud to announce another record-breaking quarter! Your astronomically higher bills make our private jets slightly shinier.
Thanks for fueling our future!!!
#blessed
#tistheseason
Thanks for fueling our future!!!
#blessed
#tistheseason
We, the dedicated stewards of your electrons here at NSP, are writing to you today with heavy hearts. We've been monitoring the discourse lately—specifically, the incessant whining—about your recent power bills.
And, frankly, we're hurt.
our greedy shareholders need their yearly dividends.
And, frankly, we're hurt.
our greedy shareholders need their yearly dividends.
November 21, 2025 at 2:34 AM
We, the dedicated stewards of your electrons here at NSP, are writing to you today with heavy hearts. We've been monitoring the discourse lately—specifically, the incessant whining—about your recent power bills.
And, frankly, we're hurt.
our greedy shareholders need their yearly dividends.
And, frankly, we're hurt.
our greedy shareholders need their yearly dividends.
we will shut off the power.....ʷᵉ'ʳᵉ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶜʰᵃʳᵍᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵖᵉˢᵏʸ ʳᵉᶜᵒⁿⁿᵉᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᶠᵉᵉ, ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵃˡˡᵒʷ ³⁻⁵ ......ᵐᵒⁿᵗʰˢ ʷᵃᶦᵗ.
November 15, 2025 at 1:02 AM
we will shut off the power.....ʷᵉ'ʳᵉ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶜʰᵃʳᵍᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵖᵉˢᵏʸ ʳᵉᶜᵒⁿⁿᵉᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᶠᵉᵉ, ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵃˡˡᵒʷ ³⁻⁵ ......ᵐᵒⁿᵗʰˢ ʷᵃᶦᵗ.
Hello, loyal energy consumers! We hope this message finds you... well, chilled to the bone and nervously eyeing your thermostat, because we certainly are!
We're absolutely buzzing with excitement here at Emera Corp., and we just had to share our joy.
#blessed
#powertothepeopleforaprice
We're absolutely buzzing with excitement here at Emera Corp., and we just had to share our joy.
#blessed
#powertothepeopleforaprice
November 14, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Hello, loyal energy consumers! We hope this message finds you... well, chilled to the bone and nervously eyeing your thermostat, because we certainly are!
We're absolutely buzzing with excitement here at Emera Corp., and we just had to share our joy.
#blessed
#powertothepeopleforaprice
We're absolutely buzzing with excitement here at Emera Corp., and we just had to share our joy.
#blessed
#powertothepeopleforaprice
That's not just pretty white stuff falling, folks, that's pure demand for heaters, electric blankets, and maybe a 2nd space heater
Remember to crank up that thermostat, we love the sound of your wallets... er, we mean, your comfort.
Remember to crank up that thermostat, we love the sound of your wallets... er, we mean, your comfort.
November 12, 2025 at 2:47 PM
That's not just pretty white stuff falling, folks, that's pure demand for heaters, electric blankets, and maybe a 2nd space heater
Remember to crank up that thermostat, we love the sound of your wallets... er, we mean, your comfort.
Remember to crank up that thermostat, we love the sound of your wallets... er, we mean, your comfort.
We at NSP understand that sometimes the lights go out. And we also understand that our profits go up when that happens. It's a win-win! (Mostly for us). Keep paying those bills, folks! We need to fund our CEO's solid gold yacht.
November 10, 2025 at 3:07 PM
We at NSP understand that sometimes the lights go out. And we also understand that our profits go up when that happens. It's a win-win! (Mostly for us). Keep paying those bills, folks! We need to fund our CEO's solid gold yacht.
There's nothing that we are scared of. not politicians, not rate payers, not share holders..........but this thing, it haunts us
November 6, 2025 at 9:05 PM
There's nothing that we are scared of. not politicians, not rate payers, not share holders..........but this thing, it haunts us
We're thrilled to announce our new "Loyalty Surcharge" for customers who... you know... pay their bills.
Think of it as a small "thank you" for your continued funding of our third corporate yacht.
Have a powerfully expensive day!
Think of it as a small "thank you" for your continued funding of our third corporate yacht.
Have a powerfully expensive day!
November 5, 2025 at 1:14 PM
We're thrilled to announce our new "Loyalty Surcharge" for customers who... you know... pay their bills.
Think of it as a small "thank you" for your continued funding of our third corporate yacht.
Have a powerfully expensive day!
Think of it as a small "thank you" for your continued funding of our third corporate yacht.
Have a powerfully expensive day!
We've been looking at the weather forecast, and oh boy, does it look like we're going to get some seriously heavy rain soon!
we'll be here, diligently working to ensure... well, that we can charge you accordingly for any unforeseen service interruptions. Stay dry, keep those wallets handy!
we'll be here, diligently working to ensure... well, that we can charge you accordingly for any unforeseen service interruptions. Stay dry, keep those wallets handy!
October 30, 2025 at 12:37 PM
We've been looking at the weather forecast, and oh boy, does it look like we're going to get some seriously heavy rain soon!
we'll be here, diligently working to ensure... well, that we can charge you accordingly for any unforeseen service interruptions. Stay dry, keep those wallets handy!
we'll be here, diligently working to ensure... well, that we can charge you accordingly for any unforeseen service interruptions. Stay dry, keep those wallets handy!
Maximizing shareholder value, requires minimizing your happiness and maximizing our profit margins.
Our annual report is basically just a high-score screen.
Thanks for being our valued, revenue-generating customers!
Remember, the best way to protest our prices is to pay them immediately.
Our annual report is basically just a high-score screen.
Thanks for being our valued, revenue-generating customers!
Remember, the best way to protest our prices is to pay them immediately.
October 28, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Maximizing shareholder value, requires minimizing your happiness and maximizing our profit margins.
Our annual report is basically just a high-score screen.
Thanks for being our valued, revenue-generating customers!
Remember, the best way to protest our prices is to pay them immediately.
Our annual report is basically just a high-score screen.
Thanks for being our valued, revenue-generating customers!
Remember, the best way to protest our prices is to pay them immediately.
Brrrrr, the ol' power meters are spinning this morning.
our greedy shareholders thank you from the bottom of their cold dead hearts.
our greedy shareholders thank you from the bottom of their cold dead hearts.
October 27, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Brrrrr, the ol' power meters are spinning this morning.
our greedy shareholders thank you from the bottom of their cold dead hearts.
our greedy shareholders thank you from the bottom of their cold dead hearts.
Ah, Sunday. The perfect day to reflect on the beauty of nature... and how much we're going to charge you for the electricity to power your fan when it gets too hot. A truly beautiful day for business. Enjoy the light while it lasts. 😉
October 26, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Ah, Sunday. The perfect day to reflect on the beauty of nature... and how much we're going to charge you for the electricity to power your fan when it gets too hot. A truly beautiful day for business. Enjoy the light while it lasts. 😉
Just another beautiful day at Emera Corp
Don't worry about those slightly higher rates, folks – it just means we're investing in cutting-edge technology!
(Like that new gold-plated executive bathroom. You're welcome!)
Remember, a little bit of darkness really makes you appreciate the light...
Don't worry about those slightly higher rates, folks – it just means we're investing in cutting-edge technology!
(Like that new gold-plated executive bathroom. You're welcome!)
Remember, a little bit of darkness really makes you appreciate the light...
October 22, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Just another beautiful day at Emera Corp
Don't worry about those slightly higher rates, folks – it just means we're investing in cutting-edge technology!
(Like that new gold-plated executive bathroom. You're welcome!)
Remember, a little bit of darkness really makes you appreciate the light...
Don't worry about those slightly higher rates, folks – it just means we're investing in cutting-edge technology!
(Like that new gold-plated executive bathroom. You're welcome!)
Remember, a little bit of darkness really makes you appreciate the light...
In light of the cabinet reshuffle, we decided to shuffle our rates:
Peak hours will now be; whenever you are awake and considering using an appliance that plugs into a wall.
Time of day rates have been reshuffled to 3:00 am to 3:05 am. Honestly, who can sleep with all this excitement!!!
Peak hours will now be; whenever you are awake and considering using an appliance that plugs into a wall.
Time of day rates have been reshuffled to 3:00 am to 3:05 am. Honestly, who can sleep with all this excitement!!!
October 21, 2025 at 7:41 PM
In light of the cabinet reshuffle, we decided to shuffle our rates:
Peak hours will now be; whenever you are awake and considering using an appliance that plugs into a wall.
Time of day rates have been reshuffled to 3:00 am to 3:05 am. Honestly, who can sleep with all this excitement!!!
Peak hours will now be; whenever you are awake and considering using an appliance that plugs into a wall.
Time of day rates have been reshuffled to 3:00 am to 3:05 am. Honestly, who can sleep with all this excitement!!!
We’ve just unveiled our brand new slogan! Are you ready?
It’s “We’ll take your money, and you’ll like it. Why? Because it’s dark without us.”
Just another day of innovating ways to make the sun jealous of how much power we hold. Enjoy the glow of your bill!
#payupsuckers
It’s “We’ll take your money, and you’ll like it. Why? Because it’s dark without us.”
Just another day of innovating ways to make the sun jealous of how much power we hold. Enjoy the glow of your bill!
#payupsuckers
October 21, 2025 at 2:01 PM
We’ve just unveiled our brand new slogan! Are you ready?
It’s “We’ll take your money, and you’ll like it. Why? Because it’s dark without us.”
Just another day of innovating ways to make the sun jealous of how much power we hold. Enjoy the glow of your bill!
#payupsuckers
It’s “We’ll take your money, and you’ll like it. Why? Because it’s dark without us.”
Just another day of innovating ways to make the sun jealous of how much power we hold. Enjoy the glow of your bill!
#payupsuckers
Our customer service hold music is just the sound of a cash register dinging.
We figure if you're paying this much, you should at least hear where the money's going. 💸 Call us! (But not really). Don't forget to pay your bill.
We figure if you're paying this much, you should at least hear where the money's going. 💸 Call us! (But not really). Don't forget to pay your bill.
October 20, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Our customer service hold music is just the sound of a cash register dinging.
We figure if you're paying this much, you should at least hear where the money's going. 💸 Call us! (But not really). Don't forget to pay your bill.
We figure if you're paying this much, you should at least hear where the money's going. 💸 Call us! (But not really). Don't forget to pay your bill.
Just a quick reminder that while our profits are up 200%, we've decided to nickel 'n' dime you, because, frankly, the private yacht isn't going to buy itself.
Also, expect a brief power outage next Tuesday. We need to test the backup generator... for the CEO's espresso machine.
Also, expect a brief power outage next Tuesday. We need to test the backup generator... for the CEO's espresso machine.
October 17, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Just a quick reminder that while our profits are up 200%, we've decided to nickel 'n' dime you, because, frankly, the private yacht isn't going to buy itself.
Also, expect a brief power outage next Tuesday. We need to test the backup generator... for the CEO's espresso machine.
Also, expect a brief power outage next Tuesday. We need to test the backup generator... for the CEO's espresso machine.
We see the Houston government taking away people's rights to complain about their counselors.
who do we have to pay to get the same treatment for us?
#americanwannabe
who do we have to pay to get the same treatment for us?
#americanwannabe
October 16, 2025 at 11:22 AM
We see the Houston government taking away people's rights to complain about their counselors.
who do we have to pay to get the same treatment for us?
#americanwannabe
who do we have to pay to get the same treatment for us?
#americanwannabe
We've heard the whispers about "saving money."
We're worried about you.
Think about it: If you put a bunch of solar panels on your roof, how will we afford our fourth corporate jet this year?
P.S. We've adjusted your rates slightly to reflect the added effort of sending this warning post.
We're worried about you.
Think about it: If you put a bunch of solar panels on your roof, how will we afford our fourth corporate jet this year?
P.S. We've adjusted your rates slightly to reflect the added effort of sending this warning post.
October 15, 2025 at 1:37 PM
We've heard the whispers about "saving money."
We're worried about you.
Think about it: If you put a bunch of solar panels on your roof, how will we afford our fourth corporate jet this year?
P.S. We've adjusted your rates slightly to reflect the added effort of sending this warning post.
We're worried about you.
Think about it: If you put a bunch of solar panels on your roof, how will we afford our fourth corporate jet this year?
P.S. We've adjusted your rates slightly to reflect the added effort of sending this warning post.