Can’t. I can’t handle this. I honest to god can’t. I hate where I am in my life and I am fucking terrified and there’s no one in this household that would be able to comfort me because they legit don’t want me doing this shit.

I’m scared. Mortified something goes wrong. I told myself I’d do this stuff when I get out of my home. This should be a reminder to myself to never deviate from the plan. Instead I have to prove more because they are older people and they are going to want some proof to make sure I’m okay. I fucking

My first job has made me realize what I’ve hidden a while back. And what I honestly wanted. I haven’t felt this comfort in a long time. Like I didn’t even feel this in my last relationship. And I realize I don’t think I really feel that with Jason which freaks me out. He really likes me and ugh.

Afraid. I wish I wasn’t so afraid. I wish I could leave. I wish I lived with Mikey and Jason. I wish I felt safe enough to decorate my room without worrying about my parents questioning it. I fucking hate how bland my room is. It’s a perfect representation of what I feel safe to show my parents.

Jason is asleep I’m UGH. And it’s not even like it’s hard not telling my parents details but it just stresses me the fuck out because they have gone insane over that shit before for misplaced reasons. I literally feel like I can trust them with information. I can’t tell them anything because I am

Happened and I don’t think it will for a long while. I legit hate relationships so much this is why I only talked with Mikey for so long because one friendship that I could just keep details out of my parents reach felt manageable. I’m freaking the fuck out and my friend is talking with his bf and

Freaking the fuck out. I am fucking shit up again. Which is what I didn’t want to do. I am literally the base definition of a failure why can’t people fucking see that. People see worth in me which is fine but every person who gets a crush on me literally acts like they want me forever. It hasn’t

In contact with them forever. Which is the problem. I understand that they love me because I am their child. But it’s going to be too hard for me to stay in contact with them when I leave and become my own person. I don’t even know if I want to be Jason. It’s jumping back and forth im fucking

You two look so cute together!

I watched it too the other day and I got so fucking bored that I started playing on Roblox

I think it’s a sign

Bruh I forgot to type in that it never happened to me 😭 😭 😭

This has never happened are you okay?

Real