chris evans
@notcapnamerica.bsky.social
Receipts provider. Movie live tweeter.
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If I send you this just know you better Venmo me the money for brunch
March 31, 2025 at 1:27 AM
If I send you this just know you better Venmo me the money for brunch
The way men reach a certain age, realize they’ve made all the wrong choices in life, and desperately start looking for a woman gullible enough to believe they’re a “changed man” to cure their loneliness and be their unpaid housekeeper, chef, and nurse.
March 30, 2025 at 11:35 PM
The way men reach a certain age, realize they’ve made all the wrong choices in life, and desperately start looking for a woman gullible enough to believe they’re a “changed man” to cure their loneliness and be their unpaid housekeeper, chef, and nurse.
Watching this Netflix documentary about this British chef’s biological Mom who showed up and scammed out of his entire life savings.
March 30, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Watching this Netflix documentary about this British chef’s biological Mom who showed up and scammed out of his entire life savings.
And ANOTHER thing
When I catch this slackjawed knock-kneed hussie in the streets it’s gonna be ON SIGHT
When I catch this slackjawed knock-kneed hussie in the streets it’s gonna be ON SIGHT
March 12, 2025 at 3:57 AM
And ANOTHER thing
When I catch this slackjawed knock-kneed hussie in the streets it’s gonna be ON SIGHT
When I catch this slackjawed knock-kneed hussie in the streets it’s gonna be ON SIGHT
How it started: How it’s going:
March 3, 2025 at 11:16 PM
How it started: How it’s going:
WTF is going on?!
February 1, 2025 at 9:16 PM
WTF is going on?!
We’re going to the Oscars, baby!
January 23, 2025 at 5:06 PM
We’re going to the Oscars, baby!
Jennifer Hudson had to turn off the comments
January 17, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Jennifer Hudson had to turn off the comments
Can’t even sit and do my skin care routine without her being all up in my grill
January 10, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Can’t even sit and do my skin care routine without her being all up in my grill
matched with a handsome emergency room doctor on Hinge and he immediately wanted to talk on the phone. bitch I'm an introvert who needs time to mentally prepare for social interactions. Hold on a minute
January 9, 2025 at 3:38 AM
matched with a handsome emergency room doctor on Hinge and he immediately wanted to talk on the phone. bitch I'm an introvert who needs time to mentally prepare for social interactions. Hold on a minute
Mentally I’m still here
January 4, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Mentally I’m still here
Have y’all seen that show where the people find out there’s someone who’s been secretly living in their house for months and they never knew they were there?
January 4, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Have y’all seen that show where the people find out there’s someone who’s been secretly living in their house for months and they never knew they were there?
And managed to be fine AF while getting it all done
January 4, 2025 at 3:40 PM
And managed to be fine AF while getting it all done
She needs to get on LinkedIn and start looking for a job.
January 4, 2025 at 3:39 PM
She needs to get on LinkedIn and start looking for a job.
This man married a whole ass inmate a day after she got out of prison, she immediately went on a coke bender, stole his $ and his rental car. Now he owes the entire cost of the vehicle, over $20k. She got arrested, released, arrested again — and he still talmbout “shes my goddess”
#LoveAfterLockup
#LoveAfterLockup
January 4, 2025 at 3:38 PM
This man married a whole ass inmate a day after she got out of prison, she immediately went on a coke bender, stole his $ and his rental car. Now he owes the entire cost of the vehicle, over $20k. She got arrested, released, arrested again — and he still talmbout “shes my goddess”
#LoveAfterLockup
#LoveAfterLockup
New Year’s Eve: before
December 31, 2024 at 6:22 PM
New Year’s Eve: before
December 30, 2024 at 9:52 PM
48 hours after discovering YouTube my grandfather is now onto videos of girls twerking and hip hop music playlists.
December 25, 2024 at 7:24 PM
48 hours after discovering YouTube my grandfather is now onto videos of girls twerking and hip hop music playlists.
Tried to sleep in a few extra hours this morning. But alas, my mother is up, cooking, listening to the preacher’s wife soundtrack at 1000+ volume, and banging the pot lids together like cymbals.
December 25, 2024 at 7:23 PM
Tried to sleep in a few extra hours this morning. But alas, my mother is up, cooking, listening to the preacher’s wife soundtrack at 1000+ volume, and banging the pot lids together like cymbals.
My friend went out on a date last night and the topic came up of changing linens. She asked him how often he changes out his pillows and he says to her, “what do you mean change the pillows? 😐”
December 21, 2024 at 11:49 PM
My friend went out on a date last night and the topic came up of changing linens. She asked him how often he changes out his pillows and he says to her, “what do you mean change the pillows? 😐”