Once again, we’re looking for this criminal, please report any sightings to your local FBI office.

Attached are two known forms of the Thing, but be aware it can look like anyone (except me, I promise).

Some citizens have noticed waking up this morning their water has a new hue, but there’s no need to worry! We’re proud to announce the start of our statewide rollout of Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator! We’re very excited about this partnership!

I received THIS PHOTOGRAPH with the text “My face when I hear about you” and WHO IS THIS?? IS THIS DAVID WELLER?? I’LL GET YOU DAVID!!! Making a new bill right now that will let me see WHO SENT THIS TEXT

Keep your eyes open for this escaped convict!! She’s been spotted in the area wearing a wig, and has known collaborators (in corner- Nico Robin, famous pirate).

WHAT HAS THIS CAT SEEN? Making a team to investigate, see what this cat knows.

Re-watching Mad Max Fury Road I got annoyed at a detail. Not that they’re wasting water, but that Immortan Joe isn’t charging for the water! I’m proposing a new bill, the “Require Immortan Water Charge” bill to ensure Immortan isn’t letting his precious water goes to any more waste.