norman
@normanshyster.bsky.social
film lovin beer drinkin cool guy
gotta convince my boss that every customer we have is in massive nba fan so she’ll by league pass for the bar (me)
November 9, 2025 at 6:56 PM
gotta convince my boss that every customer we have is in massive nba fan so she’ll by league pass for the bar (me)
bartender stopped in his tracks, turned around and walked up to me as if to share a secret, and told me that ground beef was on sale for half off at our local hyvee
October 29, 2025 at 4:06 AM
bartender stopped in his tracks, turned around and walked up to me as if to share a secret, and told me that ground beef was on sale for half off at our local hyvee
Yes, I’m a slave to my whims, my pussy is wet because I got a beer and I’m listening to the band loverboy
October 25, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Yes, I’m a slave to my whims, my pussy is wet because I got a beer and I’m listening to the band loverboy
how do I convince the lady at the Chinese restaurant I’m not crying because the food is too spicy I’m crying because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fall in love again
October 19, 2025 at 7:39 PM
how do I convince the lady at the Chinese restaurant I’m not crying because the food is too spicy I’m crying because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fall in love again
sitting at the diner, I’ve been good about eating at home so I haven’t taken myself out to breakfast in a while, the waitress remembered my usual order, very sweet
October 1, 2025 at 4:07 PM
sitting at the diner, I’ve been good about eating at home so I haven’t taken myself out to breakfast in a while, the waitress remembered my usual order, very sweet
my goy roommate listening to Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof for the first time “this is just like HAIM”
September 9, 2025 at 6:04 AM
my goy roommate listening to Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof for the first time “this is just like HAIM”
saw one of my distant (not really sure distance wise, maybe third) cousins on Facebook and her baby is ugly
August 13, 2025 at 2:00 AM
saw one of my distant (not really sure distance wise, maybe third) cousins on Facebook and her baby is ugly
guy at the bar today had a tab with the last name Mulcahy and when he asked to close out I remembered and was like “Mulcahy, right?” And he was like “oh wow you pronounced it right that never happens” to which I said “oh yeah, I’ve watched M*A*S*H” and he did not laugh
July 10, 2025 at 6:55 AM
guy at the bar today had a tab with the last name Mulcahy and when he asked to close out I remembered and was like “Mulcahy, right?” And he was like “oh wow you pronounced it right that never happens” to which I said “oh yeah, I’ve watched M*A*S*H” and he did not laugh
I just had a (more or less, situationship if you will) breakup conversation where I couldn’t stop burping
May 28, 2025 at 2:49 AM
I just had a (more or less, situationship if you will) breakup conversation where I couldn’t stop burping
I’m soul crushingly hungover
May 25, 2025 at 9:06 PM
I’m soul crushingly hungover
I’m not a religious man but if god favors lover boys I’ll be getting some tonight
May 24, 2025 at 5:54 AM
I’m not a religious man but if god favors lover boys I’ll be getting some tonight
the forever big baller move is leaving with someone to bone then coming back afterwards
May 16, 2025 at 2:35 AM
the forever big baller move is leaving with someone to bone then coming back afterwards
game show network just played this episode of jeopardy
May 6, 2025 at 10:13 PM
game show network just played this episode of jeopardy
needed a visual aid to explain something to my very not online buddy
May 4, 2025 at 9:01 PM
needed a visual aid to explain something to my very not online buddy
I screamed “noooo” out loud when my roommate texted me that Ruth Buzzi died
May 2, 2025 at 7:26 PM
I screamed “noooo” out loud when my roommate texted me that Ruth Buzzi died
I have a crush on the guy who works at the bank 🫣
May 1, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I have a crush on the guy who works at the bank 🫣
seems like a good day to do this
April 29, 2025 at 4:47 PM
seems like a good day to do this
my weird former-lover-but-we’re-still-friends-but-it’s-complicated and I have been hanging out a lot - anyway I just asked him if he wants to go see Revenge of the Sith with me and I hope he says yes
April 26, 2025 at 2:10 PM
my weird former-lover-but-we’re-still-friends-but-it’s-complicated and I have been hanging out a lot - anyway I just asked him if he wants to go see Revenge of the Sith with me and I hope he says yes
turning on brown noise then looking at my phone instead of going to sleep like taking NyQuil and slamming a redbull at the same time
April 26, 2025 at 5:45 AM
turning on brown noise then looking at my phone instead of going to sleep like taking NyQuil and slamming a redbull at the same time
I am going to a Chinese buffet tonight and I am extremely jazzed
April 21, 2025 at 8:16 PM
I am going to a Chinese buffet tonight and I am extremely jazzed
I’m just saying pretty convenient that the pope dies the day I start my hiatus from drinking
April 21, 2025 at 7:36 PM
I’m just saying pretty convenient that the pope dies the day I start my hiatus from drinking
I referred to Tiny Tim (singer) and my friend went “oh yeah that lil fucker from Scrooge McDuck”
April 15, 2025 at 11:49 PM
I referred to Tiny Tim (singer) and my friend went “oh yeah that lil fucker from Scrooge McDuck”
guy I know posted “happy international beaver day” and I was like “that’s so funny beaver like vagina haha” then the next photo was him with a bunch of dead beavers he had hunted and it made me sad :(
April 8, 2025 at 2:30 PM
guy I know posted “happy international beaver day” and I was like “that’s so funny beaver like vagina haha” then the next photo was him with a bunch of dead beavers he had hunted and it made me sad :(
I went to a poet friend of mine’s house and this was his porch swing
March 30, 2025 at 10:45 PM
I went to a poet friend of mine’s house and this was his porch swing
I just had sec with a man who was the entire time wearing a breathe right nasal strip
March 23, 2025 at 8:27 AM
I just had sec with a man who was the entire time wearing a breathe right nasal strip