Please post warnings before you send me on an emotional roller-coaster.

Same orb that sustained the virus, causing me to drive to buy tissues for my runny nose.

Yeah orb. I'm looking at YOU!

I feel seen.

I bought a proper tape dispenser with cut off.

I put it on a shelf where I could see it.

I got so used to seeing it, I couldn't find it when I was looking.

So, screw that in future.

Order this, add anything you want to the French vanilla x

Area now zoned for carrot planting and Etsy cookie manufacturing.

I donated for years and felt like I was the only one, which made me angry.

Thanks for getting off your arse. (Apparently I'm still angry).

January, Sir. (Doffs cap).

The two waitresses combined their tips to buy a share in the waffle House.

They realised, as they were grossly underpaid they'd never be able to afford it so instead waited for Dale in the parking lot and put an end to his insignificant existence with baseball bats. 🙂

You're a monster!

I feel you...

Anyone believing in a god leaves me bewildered.

'Need exterminated'.

I'd block on grammar alone, never mind the context.

Yes, obvs.
No, (needs cooking).

...and no (needs more marinating).

What could possibly go wrong! I'm in.