nolunchdeepweb
@nolunchdeepweb.bsky.social
Delivering high quality marketing solutions using deep data magick across the astral plane.
Pinned
mr president it seems our worst fears have come true, Wario is digging up golf courses all over the world
trump, solemnly
is he saying waaah
trump, solemnly
is he saying waaah
Zuckerberg, watching a stoner comedy:
The humans, they find this funny?
Robot:
Yes sir, they find these hijinks most entertaining.
Zuckerberg, an hour after ingesting 200mg of pure THC:
Am I funny now, robot?
Robot:
I'm afraid not, sir
Zuckerberg:
I want to watch someone die
The humans, they find this funny?
Robot:
Yes sir, they find these hijinks most entertaining.
Zuckerberg, an hour after ingesting 200mg of pure THC:
Am I funny now, robot?
Robot:
I'm afraid not, sir
Zuckerberg:
I want to watch someone die
January 21, 2026 at 4:48 PM
Zuckerberg, watching a stoner comedy:
The humans, they find this funny?
Robot:
Yes sir, they find these hijinks most entertaining.
Zuckerberg, an hour after ingesting 200mg of pure THC:
Am I funny now, robot?
Robot:
I'm afraid not, sir
Zuckerberg:
I want to watch someone die
The humans, they find this funny?
Robot:
Yes sir, they find these hijinks most entertaining.
Zuckerberg, an hour after ingesting 200mg of pure THC:
Am I funny now, robot?
Robot:
I'm afraid not, sir
Zuckerberg:
I want to watch someone die
Stop vaping, ser
January 20, 2026 at 8:27 PM
Stop vaping, ser
WALT DISNEY
You can dream, create, design and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it requires people to make the dream a reality.
GLASGOW CITY COUNCIL
Alright burn that shite down and get it turned into student flats
You can dream, create, design and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it requires people to make the dream a reality.
GLASGOW CITY COUNCIL
Alright burn that shite down and get it turned into student flats
January 20, 2026 at 8:07 PM
WALT DISNEY
You can dream, create, design and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it requires people to make the dream a reality.
GLASGOW CITY COUNCIL
Alright burn that shite down and get it turned into student flats
You can dream, create, design and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it requires people to make the dream a reality.
GLASGOW CITY COUNCIL
Alright burn that shite down and get it turned into student flats
Coming into the office for that required one single day a week
January 20, 2026 at 9:29 AM
Coming into the office for that required one single day a week
Another night up on the City Walls. McGregor lost his pike and was looking all over the North Tower when 3 hedge witches tried to scale the walls. He's not got a weapon so he tipped the teapot out over them and chased them. Now the lads are all calling him Teabag
January 20, 2026 at 8:18 AM
Another night up on the City Walls. McGregor lost his pike and was looking all over the North Tower when 3 hedge witches tried to scale the walls. He's not got a weapon so he tipped the teapot out over them and chased them. Now the lads are all calling him Teabag
Keir Starmer
Look everyone we have a very nice and special relationship with the USA and especially President Trump, don't worry I have this under control
Trump
I just did a turd in my big boy golden toilet and I named it Keir, thank you for your attention to this matter
Look everyone we have a very nice and special relationship with the USA and especially President Trump, don't worry I have this under control
Trump
I just did a turd in my big boy golden toilet and I named it Keir, thank you for your attention to this matter
January 20, 2026 at 8:16 AM
Keir Starmer
Look everyone we have a very nice and special relationship with the USA and especially President Trump, don't worry I have this under control
Trump
I just did a turd in my big boy golden toilet and I named it Keir, thank you for your attention to this matter
Look everyone we have a very nice and special relationship with the USA and especially President Trump, don't worry I have this under control
Trump
I just did a turd in my big boy golden toilet and I named it Keir, thank you for your attention to this matter
All these English hoping that yanks will somehow see sense and get rid of Trump - now yous know how we feel hoping that the English will see sense and not vote for Farage. Welcome to Hopeless Club, friends
January 20, 2026 at 7:20 AM
All these English hoping that yanks will somehow see sense and get rid of Trump - now yous know how we feel hoping that the English will see sense and not vote for Farage. Welcome to Hopeless Club, friends
Paddington stops mid "hard stare"
What's happening? he mutters
Rat poison in your marmalade old boy, I laugh.
No more window cleaning shenanigans for you.
He slumps to the ground. Tell my Aunt..
I kick his body into the street. Tell her yourself, forest rat
What's happening? he mutters
Rat poison in your marmalade old boy, I laugh.
No more window cleaning shenanigans for you.
He slumps to the ground. Tell my Aunt..
I kick his body into the street. Tell her yourself, forest rat
January 19, 2026 at 2:28 PM
Paddington stops mid "hard stare"
What's happening? he mutters
Rat poison in your marmalade old boy, I laugh.
No more window cleaning shenanigans for you.
He slumps to the ground. Tell my Aunt..
I kick his body into the street. Tell her yourself, forest rat
What's happening? he mutters
Rat poison in your marmalade old boy, I laugh.
No more window cleaning shenanigans for you.
He slumps to the ground. Tell my Aunt..
I kick his body into the street. Tell her yourself, forest rat
Boss we're spending billions on these Hunger Games, Jonathan says that we just built a huge building complex to like, fill it with flowing tar or something?
If we just met everyone's needs we'd actually spend less money
Snow:
Hmm ok but what if we built giant robot chickens?
If we just met everyone's needs we'd actually spend less money
Snow:
Hmm ok but what if we built giant robot chickens?
January 19, 2026 at 8:54 AM
Boss we're spending billions on these Hunger Games, Jonathan says that we just built a huge building complex to like, fill it with flowing tar or something?
If we just met everyone's needs we'd actually spend less money
Snow:
Hmm ok but what if we built giant robot chickens?
If we just met everyone's needs we'd actually spend less money
Snow:
Hmm ok but what if we built giant robot chickens?
Paul
Ok so I was thinking I'd say something about making love with Cecilia in my room then when I leave someone else takes my place
Art
FFS this again?
Paul
She was my girl, man!
Art
She was no good for you! She was shaking your confidence daily
Paul
Hang on write that down
Ok so I was thinking I'd say something about making love with Cecilia in my room then when I leave someone else takes my place
Art
FFS this again?
Paul
She was my girl, man!
Art
She was no good for you! She was shaking your confidence daily
Paul
Hang on write that down
January 19, 2026 at 7:52 AM
Paul
Ok so I was thinking I'd say something about making love with Cecilia in my room then when I leave someone else takes my place
Art
FFS this again?
Paul
She was my girl, man!
Art
She was no good for you! She was shaking your confidence daily
Paul
Hang on write that down
Ok so I was thinking I'd say something about making love with Cecilia in my room then when I leave someone else takes my place
Art
FFS this again?
Paul
She was my girl, man!
Art
She was no good for you! She was shaking your confidence daily
Paul
Hang on write that down
So the unexploded bomb in my garden finally got removed but when they pulled it out, guy from the council said it was actually blocking a hellmouth and stopping Satan's Dark Minions from invading. Going to be another 4 weeks for the council to fill it in. Fucksake man
January 19, 2026 at 7:40 AM
So the unexploded bomb in my garden finally got removed but when they pulled it out, guy from the council said it was actually blocking a hellmouth and stopping Satan's Dark Minions from invading. Going to be another 4 weeks for the council to fill it in. Fucksake man
That month where everyone is watching Home Alone is pretty rough on the House Burgling Community, glad it's over now. Don't be afraid to reach out guys, it's ok to not be ok
January 18, 2026 at 8:03 PM
That month where everyone is watching Home Alone is pretty rough on the House Burgling Community, glad it's over now. Don't be afraid to reach out guys, it's ok to not be ok
Movie idea Avatar but with dogs
January 18, 2026 at 8:01 PM
Movie idea Avatar but with dogs
After I fell into that well and they fished me out, I kept seeing this little ghost girl out the corner of my eye. She had died down there and wanted me to come back and play with her. Anyway I convinced my sister to climb down there and bada bing problem solved
January 18, 2026 at 7:59 PM
After I fell into that well and they fished me out, I kept seeing this little ghost girl out the corner of my eye. She had died down there and wanted me to come back and play with her. Anyway I convinced my sister to climb down there and bada bing problem solved
yes actually, why do you think we can't see Chewbacca's junk? Like does he not reproduce that way or does it maybe retract?
I meant questions about the job
I meant questions about the job
January 13, 2026 at 11:37 AM
yes actually, why do you think we can't see Chewbacca's junk? Like does he not reproduce that way or does it maybe retract?
I meant questions about the job
I meant questions about the job
Showing my dentist the knife scene from "Bring her Back":
can you do something like this?
can you do something like this?
January 13, 2026 at 11:34 AM
Showing my dentist the knife scene from "Bring her Back":
can you do something like this?
can you do something like this?
hate 2 b the 1 saying this but the astral plane aint what it used 2 b, nothin but 2rist shops everywhere, like 9 restaurants all selling the same food, even saw a greggs drive thru getting built, 2 bad man
January 13, 2026 at 11:29 AM
hate 2 b the 1 saying this but the astral plane aint what it used 2 b, nothin but 2rist shops everywhere, like 9 restaurants all selling the same food, even saw a greggs drive thru getting built, 2 bad man
Broke both my legs last night wriggling through the air vents. Just going to have to snap them off and let them regrow. Fuck me, that's 6 weeks of sitting about now fml man
January 10, 2026 at 11:12 AM
Broke both my legs last night wriggling through the air vents. Just going to have to snap them off and let them regrow. Fuck me, that's 6 weeks of sitting about now fml man
Found one of the last Angels hiding in a flat in Minsk. It had tried to hide its wings under a hoodie and a large parka. Pathetic. I drained the ichor, filled 10 jars and sent them off to Necker Island that day. 50 more years for Branson and 8 mil in my bank, a good day
January 9, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Found one of the last Angels hiding in a flat in Minsk. It had tried to hide its wings under a hoodie and a large parka. Pathetic. I drained the ichor, filled 10 jars and sent them off to Necker Island that day. 50 more years for Branson and 8 mil in my bank, a good day
shit elon they're using your ai to put kiddies in bikinis, what do we do??
don't worry what what what if we hold on what if we umm uh what about say we make it that only blue uh blue ticks get to get to uh post uh degenerate uh kiddie uh kiddie umm porn
don't worry what what what if we hold on what if we umm uh what about say we make it that only blue uh blue ticks get to get to uh post uh degenerate uh kiddie uh kiddie umm porn
January 9, 2026 at 11:16 AM
shit elon they're using your ai to put kiddies in bikinis, what do we do??
don't worry what what what if we hold on what if we umm uh what about say we make it that only blue uh blue ticks get to get to uh post uh degenerate uh kiddie uh kiddie umm porn
don't worry what what what if we hold on what if we umm uh what about say we make it that only blue uh blue ticks get to get to uh post uh degenerate uh kiddie uh kiddie umm porn
ROGUE AI SETS OFF NUKES IN CAPITALS WORLDWIDE. RIOTING AS FOOD ROTS IN THE FIELDS. GENETICALLY MODIFIED DOGS ROAM THE STREETS IN PACKS LOOKING FOR HUMAN FLESH
Me: Guys everyone needs to just take a breath and remember to register to vote OK, take time for yourself its ok to not be ok
Me: Guys everyone needs to just take a breath and remember to register to vote OK, take time for yourself its ok to not be ok
January 9, 2026 at 10:34 AM
ROGUE AI SETS OFF NUKES IN CAPITALS WORLDWIDE. RIOTING AS FOOD ROTS IN THE FIELDS. GENETICALLY MODIFIED DOGS ROAM THE STREETS IN PACKS LOOKING FOR HUMAN FLESH
Me: Guys everyone needs to just take a breath and remember to register to vote OK, take time for yourself its ok to not be ok
Me: Guys everyone needs to just take a breath and remember to register to vote OK, take time for yourself its ok to not be ok
astrally projected to mars and they were all laughing at me and calling me a dick and a stupid biped, hate those guys hope Elon's shitty rockets crash on them all
January 9, 2026 at 10:23 AM
astrally projected to mars and they were all laughing at me and calling me a dick and a stupid biped, hate those guys hope Elon's shitty rockets crash on them all
mum can u come and get me from this party i made the joke about a cis teen painting this chapel and nobody laughed
January 9, 2026 at 10:21 AM
mum can u come and get me from this party i made the joke about a cis teen painting this chapel and nobody laughed
Called Dad and he was moaning about the new Christians in the village. I'm like look there was a meeting and a vote, you can't just burn them anymore, this is 2026. He's like this wouldn't happen if we had a real government, I'm voting reform. Fucksake man
January 9, 2026 at 10:17 AM
Called Dad and he was moaning about the new Christians in the village. I'm like look there was a meeting and a vote, you can't just burn them anymore, this is 2026. He's like this wouldn't happen if we had a real government, I'm voting reform. Fucksake man
Burn sage and garlic flowers in an iron bowl. Add a lock of your lover's hair. Cut your hand over the flame. Say the words MY BODY MY BLOOD CONSUME ME DARK QUEEN. The Goddess will bless you three times. Namaste
January 9, 2026 at 10:01 AM
Burn sage and garlic flowers in an iron bowl. Add a lock of your lover's hair. Cut your hand over the flame. Say the words MY BODY MY BLOOD CONSUME ME DARK QUEEN. The Goddess will bless you three times. Namaste