When would he have the time? Those tweets aren't going to write themselves

It's more commonly referred to as "closing time"

400 😮

I only had 84 this year

Did you know Old Dutch is currently making "holiday stuffing" flavored potato chips?

(Also where can a person buy those gummy worms? Just out of general curiosity, of course...)

That *would* solve a LOT of problems.

It's true that there may also be a few other less fortunate side effects, but I prefer to focus on the positive

I've cleverly avoided such temptations by leaving my baking until this afternoon after work

Totally an intentional clever plan. Nothing whatsoever to do with procrastination. Not at all concerned about how much still needs to be done

I wish I could say that was shocking, but honestly at this point I'd be more shocked if they didn't

Nightmare material right there