Look. I get it. Most generations fall for this trap when something "new" (which rap isn't, but whatever,) grows popular. Just instantaneous hatred. But I feel the dislike for rap has far outstayed it's welcome. I want people to ask themselves WHY, and wonder just WHO rap artists often are, bc... yea

It demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what rap IS. Yes there are crappy artists. Most other genres "classics", historical artists, don't have good pasts either. You objectively generalize a genre by saying you hate RAP. Like... why? Who? What rap artist do you DISLIKE? and WHY?

As such. It is INCREDIBLY a obvious to me when white people say they hate rap, that shit is pretty objectively racist. And look. I'm just a white dude with thoughts sometimes. So I'm not gonna say that shit is unforgivable hatred, honestly it seems more ignorant than anything. HOWEVER

THINK ABOUT THAT

um so. yeah. that was a nice little conclusion to come to. i do wonder if we the general western culture have gone a little too hard in the apathetic-sarcastic, self-depricating direction.

but that shit doesnt work. brains are not made for facts. we are emotional at our cores. it takes time, patience and effort to come to logical, fact-based conclusions. literal-brained me didn't get that. so what i intended to be rational reasoning to cope, worked out to be emotional repression

but let me be fuckn clear. it took me a long ass time to really understand what it truly fuckn meant to be forgiving to yourself. i am a predominantly rational person, so to me, "validating" myself was synonymous with using logic to try and force my brain out of fear mode

I think how my brain functions is honestly large part dysfunction bc of my ptsd. my brain moves fast, faster than sometimes my more deliberate consciousness can manage. thats been marked by trauma, fed lies about who i am and what im to value. im not inherently "broken", im just traumatized.

ah, but you see. that is where therapy comes in. im one of those autistic sevant sorts. i like doin shit, im just scared of people cause some peoplw are fuckin scary. therapy though, therapy reroutes those neurotuc thought patterns. Constant racing thoughts are rough, grating at times. but..

thats just how my anxiety presents. can be a great tool for people-pleasing and personal achievements, because my fear of human disapproval prevents any chance of me allowing my own failure. still! it isnt very healthy for my levels of stress! and, i find it prevent me from trying new shit

and i knew that going INTO therapy. so by like age 15 i had a borner neurotic habit of over-analyzing everything and anything about myself, the world, the why of a it all. i am the developmental stage of toddlers asking why to every expanded upon "but why?", except gone rogue.

now, to be clear. i do not experience what one of my therapist often referred to as "super-feelers". essentially the therapy version of an empath. very super feely. im not much that. im more the uh. aloof annoying comedic autistic nerd type. the "idk what emotion bro im just BAD" type.