Niko Wolfe
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nikolaiwolfe.bsky.social
Niko Wolfe
@nikolaiwolfe.bsky.social
71 followers 160 following 310 posts
Just some idiot screaming into the void.

-90's kid
-Furry trash
-AuDHD
-Gay as all hell.

He/they, maybe they/he (the fluids are gendering).
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nikolaiwolfe.bsky.social
INTRODUCING:

Super Mario 64 ultra-mega HD 8k 420fps RTX with real time pasta physics
A screenshot of the game "Super Mario 64" of Mario in the lobby of Peach's Castle. The photo has a bunch of absolutely dogshit filters and artificial blur applied.
August 12, 2025 at 10:02 PM
nikolaiwolfe.bsky.social
Image taken seconds before disaster.
A screenshot from an 'Absolutely Tasty' episode of 'Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!' where the hosts are tasting and rating pizzas they have cooked. Endo (the man serving the pizza) has put Frisk mints underneath the cheese. The five hosts are (from left to right): Hosei, Matsumoto, Hamada, Tanaka, and Endo. ...This pizza went about as well as expected.
May 9, 2025 at 12:31 AM
nikolaiwolfe.bsky.social
Looked up an article to read more and uhh...

www.fox23.com/man-who-thre...
"Less than two hours before she died, Johnson said, his wife wanted him to have sex with her one more time. He also said, however, that she could not speak as they were having intercourse, but "her body had told him that she was enjoying it."
April 29, 2025 at 10:12 PM
nikolaiwolfe.bsky.social
"Hey computer, order me a pack of Coke!"

Two days later: "Heeeey, this isn't the pack of Coke I ordered!"
Two cocaine bricks.
April 28, 2025 at 7:43 PM
nikolaiwolfe.bsky.social
Mega Man Battle Network only continues to get more weirdly predictive with time.
Screenshot from Mega Man Battle Network 1. It depicts an an email application. Beside the email body is a picture of the woman who sent the message. The selected Email reads: Sender: Your WWW Topic: Accidents? It seems the Dentown autodrive system has malfunctioned... A screenshot of Mega Man Battle Network 1 showing an intersection with all green lights. The player and two NPCs across the street watch as the self-driving cars collide. Not pictured is the explosion that follows the collision (no, I'm not making that up). The text "Wrote state" is in the bottom left corner in red (screenshot was sourced from a Something Awful Let's Play).
April 17, 2025 at 10:55 PM
nikolaiwolfe.bsky.social
Ah yes, beef seeds.
The 'Cowplant' from The Sims. Design-wise and behavior-wise, it's a cross between a cow and a venus flytrap. Fun fact: Introduced in the first expansion for The Sims 2, The Cowplant lures in unsuspecting sims with a cake-shaped tongue lure, then eats them. It converts their life energy into a drinkable substance that can be milked from the udders on its chin. This substance makes Sims younger.
April 3, 2025 at 7:58 PM
nikolaiwolfe.bsky.social
Elon fanboys are never beating the dweeb allegations.
Hitler from State Farm.
March 31, 2025 at 7:26 PM