yesss i understand completely! that on top of the added intrigue of Sett being one of the only ones who can juggle that pain into intense pleasure & an unmistakable, reverent tenderness is so in his nature even if he doesn't want to hurt phel on ppr he can understand phel's desire 4 pain AS pleasure

In the abstract like i never have a coherent concrete thought it’s always just an idea of a feeling of a concept which is often embarrassing to yap about

IDKKKKK sorry that was a lot I've been cooking a little modern AU fic for about a year now that dives into this really intensely but i get fic stage fright so it may never see the light of day at this rate & i get cold feet on putting the sex scenes to page bc idk if i'm reaching what i'm going 4

for various reasons whether by forced circumstances and/or various trauma as it pertains to their narratives (i.e. religion and masculinity) all leading towards more untoward, complicated sex that's super hot but also like!! kinda flipping between reverence &resentment that it took so long perhaps?+

maybe there's a slight tinge of mean-ness in it not bc they themselves are mean or have mean personalities bc they are obv super kind hearted where it matters but but bc there's this intense WALL they've BOTH built around themselves respectively due to the romantic/sexual repression in their lives+

esp bc fighting/pain &all the dirt that comes w it is a language they both have an intimate understanding of whether they like it or not & so i think they sometimes have to work towards discovering/rediscovering the tenderness of a sickeningly sweet romp in the sheets+

blood/spit/maybe watersports/choking/fight fucking just bodies & emotions tangled in threads of intense lust & subtle rage BUT NOT HATE!!! ultimately meant to show the freedom that they finally found their TRUE match yk... their person... being able to have someone they can experiment & let go with+

but I also think there is such a large disparage lately on the potential of a more "depraved" side of them w the sex they have... like SURE absolutely a lot of yearning preemptively but also them just being filthy kinky freaks w each other once it all comes crumbling down+

ok so this will be alot bc i don't even know how to concretely and succinctly describe what i'm thinking when it comes to this BUT ILL TRY! i love them being sweet & affectionate bc i think that's at the core of their true personalities & desires as it relates to their narratives ofc+

I wish someone more freaked out than me would write the settphel smutfic of my dreams but i know i need to take matters into my own hands if i want it fr… im just not as much of a freak as i wanna be…