I am bewildered by this product. The name and graphic suggest it was made by a Jan 6 protester. But it's not real beef jerky; it's soy. So, for vegans who want to overthrow the government. Also, each mouthful has the caffeine equivalent of a shot of espresso. Who is this even for?

I never imagined an adulthood where I did not own and use at least one Garden Weasel, yet here I am.

Things that don't exist but should:
A metal band called Keystone Corpse.
They dress like the Keystone Cops, only zombies.