I'm higher up on the qualifications list to be pope than DJ Trump, and I'm an atheist. The deciding factor is that I've been baptized and confirmed in "the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church"

Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts!

What if... instead of the auction paddle protest, someone had brought a comedian as their guest? Someone who knows two very important things: how to work a crowd, and heckling. Just stay seated and chirp at the guy the entire time. Make him want to cut his speech short.

She is beauty
She is grace
She licks her butthole
Then your face