This game will be remembered as the poopfest

I once saw a documentary about the street children of Bangladesh who were tragically addicted to huffing glue.

I imagine that’s what it feels like to be a Chicago Bears fan.

Pick Six Nix. Dr Seuss ending to a goofy shootout.

Jameis is just great to watch. Separate the art from the artist.

Terrion said this right before tearing his scrotum in half on the practice field.

Bad injury news: Terrion Arnold has a torn scrotum. Hopefully not as bad as the torn scrotum that derailed Jeff Okudah’s career.

No details on whether stuff leaked out or not.

Little known Lions fact: during the Matt Patricia Era, nearly all Detroit Lions players carried an umbrella that they would deploy any time Matt Patricia was eating nacho cheese, seven layer dip, brown gravy, or a wet sandwich. Umbrellas became more ornate over time. #nflsky #detroit #lions

I am trying like hell to be the glue guy keeping #nflsky moving right now, but nobody wants to engage with my posts about Matt Patricia’s remarkable weight loss journey or rumors about who Kliff Kingsbury is dating.

This is the nice version of Twitter and I am nicely asking for your support.

I don’t understand. Matt Patricia called the best defensive play call in superbowl history, AND he is a certified Rocket Scientist. Why are the Eagles better without him?

I know he clogged the toilets at the Linc every single home game, and ate meatball subs at half time, but that can’t explain it

I was sure it was going to be TJ Hockenson.

So now I just have to maniacally switch between Twitter and bluesky just to get a shred of commentary from my favorite NFL take merchants?

Turning and turning in the widening gyre?

Taps microphone, clears throat… *Matt Patricia’s Ample Bosoms*