might just have to wrap it up for the year im very checked out i had a good run ill come back harder in january

none of my hobbies can distract me anymore and the new ones i wanna get into that would help arent possible for me here. cant workout, cant dance, cant cook or bake, cant voice train. im being kept afloat by friends and fighting spirit

not having access to a healthy and consistent meals is gonna be my last straw

not that i can rest now anyways because any time i come home theyre just bitching and bitching

okay yeah that’ll do it i love romeo so much easily my favourite boss long live yaoi

listening to this song makes me feel like im in a french mansion in front of a fireplace sipping the warm tea my servant brought me while reading shakespeare with my single monocle while the moonlight shines through the window

ty and yes thats how i feel talking to ppl is really healthy but its like,, theres so much that goes into why i feel the way i do there isnt one all encompassing solution

probably time to talk to a counsellor again bc idk what the answer is im stuck. very aware the reason i am this way is bc of my messed up family so its not like i blame myself for it, bc i really have been trying. just need a more productive solution than to push through it

what worries me is ik that human connection is the answer for my loneliness yet the social anxiety i feel is so strong. i thought meeting more ppl would help and to some extent it has but ive been feeling it reallllyyy bad still its not the kinda thing thatll get fixed by “go talk to more ppl”

i think ill end up okay ,, im doing my best itll amount to something some day

be patient nicole ,, focus on the more pressing matters at hand and let things fall into place ,,,,,, or something like that 😔 bweh i wanna see my college friends again

men are so weird though i caught another white boy staring at me at the mall so i stared dead into his eyes and after a couple of secs he just nodded at me and we went out separate ways, idk what that was i wish i knew if i was getting good or bad stares

and no i am not downloading a dating app