I cleaned hair trimmings off my guest bathroom floor.

Last year and today, same action, two different reasons and two different women.

--
Nicole M. Clark

I remembered a moment, the day after I shaved my head. I rode in a truck with the windows down, I had scratched my head and realized a clump of hair had fallen out. I watched the tiny strands of my shaved hair fly from my fingers to the wind. Emotionless I felt then, struck by the reality I feel now

I leaned against the wall, my temporary anchor, body shaking with sobs that had overtaken me. I thought of the things that I had lost, what I had gained, who I was and who I am today.

I looked in the mirror, redrimmed watery eyes met mine. I huffed an attempted laugh to brush off the shock that had overtaken me. A tear stole its way down the face of the woman in the mirror I sat back and slid down the wall behind me, no longer able to see my reflection yet still reflecting.

.She had to sit and rest more often than not. I have been physically active, even going on bike rides with my husband on occasion (although I still consider myself woefully out of shape).

I stared in the mirror struck by the differences between she and I. She was skinnier, gaunter and more pale. I had gained weight, increased in pallor and appeared more full of life.

I was transported to a far away yesterday, one I had admittedly not thought about in a while. When I was able to move, I looked in the mirror only to find a different woman than the one who cleaned hair trimmings off my guest bathroom floor one year ago.

I cleaned hair trimmings off my guest bathroom floor today.

Upon moving to sweep it up, I found myself struck by the sight, frozen with air caught in my lungs. I had realized that I did the same exact thing nearly a year ago but for a whole different reason.

P2