And my hyperactive imagination would always picture people I knew in those situations and I knew someone who had died walking onto the pavement and was hit by a car so it always stressed me out and now the guilt is back because I just started episode one 2 years after we broke up

And I was always feeling so guilty coz I didn't want to squash her hyperfixation but also she never asked me about the things I liked and never replied if I mentioned something I'd watched and then I'd get a paragraph detailing a car crash or building collapse after 2 weeks silence

And I'd have panic attacks envisioning the scenes my ex was describing so I asked her to please stop talking about the more gory details and instead talk about the character dynamics and the ships except by this point she didn't talk to me much anyway so then she just stopped talking

My mum's theory is that my aunt's son (they're not blood related but my auntie carol is a mother figure to my mum) put her in a care home and has taken her phone from her :/

2025 can fuck off I just want my auntie carol back :')))) I really hope she's ok? Maybe she's in a hospital somewhere but the police checked all local hospitals in the area 😭

And by flare up I mean literally every IBS symptoms you can think of, ending spectacularly in heavy bleeding???? I literally have been dizzy for the last hour???? Mushrooms have foresaken me fr I fear

Rooting for you fr I read 1/3 of my reading goal last year :')))))