if somebody in your kink community standing up and admitting that they like (safely, consensually, etc) making people cry purely because it gets them hard would be regarded as an abuser or as a suspicious figure - run

extremely important to keep all theorizing about kink orientations anchored to a baseline of hedonism and consent. most dominants enjoy fucked-up things not for impressive, tragic, broken reasons, but because it makes us really horny - and that's fine