The Bureau of Eccentric and Esoteric Sightseeing
@newthelematourism.bsky.social
Welcome to New Thelema, the perfectly ordinary city in the completely normal locale of [REDACTED], a place where hopes and dreams come true within 6-8 working weeks!
Let us be your guide!
(Written/compiled by @sparkydjm1.bsky.social)
Let us be your guide!
(Written/compiled by @sparkydjm1.bsky.social)
Pinned
Welcome to the official outreach page for The Bureau of Eccentric and Esoteric Sightseeing, part of the New Thelema Tourism Initiative!
Join us for community outreach, destination hotspots, 'City Slicker of the Month', and so much more!
New Thelema: Ordinary Strangeness!
Join us for community outreach, destination hotspots, 'City Slicker of the Month', and so much more!
New Thelema: Ordinary Strangeness!
Reposted by The Bureau of Eccentric and Esoteric Sightseeing
New Thelema is often called 'The City That Never Sleeps' because there's always something happening.
Festivals, dance parties, elections, cruises, competitions, fairs, blood sacrifices
So many things to be involved in, so little time.
Festivals, dance parties, elections, cruises, competitions, fairs, blood sacrifices
So many things to be involved in, so little time.
January 10, 2026 at 9:18 PM
New Thelema is often called 'The City That Never Sleeps' because there's always something happening.
Festivals, dance parties, elections, cruises, competitions, fairs, blood sacrifices
So many things to be involved in, so little time.
Festivals, dance parties, elections, cruises, competitions, fairs, blood sacrifices
So many things to be involved in, so little time.
Reposted by The Bureau of Eccentric and Esoteric Sightseeing
Archetypes aren't characters. They're mirrors 🪞
They show us the parts of ourselves we've forgotten, ignored, or never knew existed.
Sacred archetypes: A collection of 5 divine feminine frequencies released on the winter solstice.
Each one holds a key. Which one is calling you?
They show us the parts of ourselves we've forgotten, ignored, or never knew existed.
Sacred archetypes: A collection of 5 divine feminine frequencies released on the winter solstice.
Each one holds a key. Which one is calling you?
January 10, 2026 at 7:01 PM
Archetypes aren't characters. They're mirrors 🪞
They show us the parts of ourselves we've forgotten, ignored, or never knew existed.
Sacred archetypes: A collection of 5 divine feminine frequencies released on the winter solstice.
Each one holds a key. Which one is calling you?
They show us the parts of ourselves we've forgotten, ignored, or never knew existed.
Sacred archetypes: A collection of 5 divine feminine frequencies released on the winter solstice.
Each one holds a key. Which one is calling you?
Feeling peckish? The Bureau recommends Giro's Grubbers, the new hot restaurant with its delicious slices of 'long pork' that everyone's going crazy for!
Featuring their 'secret sauce' that adds that extra little zing to the meal!
Featuring their 'secret sauce' that adds that extra little zing to the meal!
January 10, 2026 at 4:20 PM
Feeling peckish? The Bureau recommends Giro's Grubbers, the new hot restaurant with its delicious slices of 'long pork' that everyone's going crazy for!
Featuring their 'secret sauce' that adds that extra little zing to the meal!
Featuring their 'secret sauce' that adds that extra little zing to the meal!
We appear to have lost contact with one of our tour guides, Kelly Samson.
Kelly is 6'3, moppy brown hair, light brown eyes with a mole on his right cheek and a perpetually poor attitude to life.
If found, please call us on the designated number.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE KELLY IN CONVERSATION!
Kelly is 6'3, moppy brown hair, light brown eyes with a mole on his right cheek and a perpetually poor attitude to life.
If found, please call us on the designated number.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE KELLY IN CONVERSATION!
January 10, 2026 at 2:50 PM
We appear to have lost contact with one of our tour guides, Kelly Samson.
Kelly is 6'3, moppy brown hair, light brown eyes with a mole on his right cheek and a perpetually poor attitude to life.
If found, please call us on the designated number.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE KELLY IN CONVERSATION!
Kelly is 6'3, moppy brown hair, light brown eyes with a mole on his right cheek and a perpetually poor attitude to life.
If found, please call us on the designated number.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE KELLY IN CONVERSATION!
The Garden Square Fountain is now open for all *official* uses.
Unofficial uses will be noted and resolved.
Unofficial uses will be noted and resolved.
Due to an atrocious breach of manners, the Garden Square fountain will be closed until further notice.
Residents living around the square are advised to boil any tap water for the next 12 hours.
Residents living around the square are advised to boil any tap water for the next 12 hours.
January 9, 2026 at 9:08 PM
The Garden Square Fountain is now open for all *official* uses.
Unofficial uses will be noted and resolved.
Unofficial uses will be noted and resolved.
The Bureau wishes to remind all residents that any stories or rumours concerning cats following humans around, bringing bad luck and spilling deep, dark secrets until the humans allow them into their home is nothing more than a quaint little custom and is categorically untrue.
January 9, 2026 at 2:15 PM
The Bureau wishes to remind all residents that any stories or rumours concerning cats following humans around, bringing bad luck and spilling deep, dark secrets until the humans allow them into their home is nothing more than a quaint little custom and is categorically untrue.
One of the most asked questions we're asked whether our beautiful city is more dangerous at night.
The truth is, a night in New Thelema is much like a night in any other city one could name.
...
Except for the Othered, of course.
The truth is, a night in New Thelema is much like a night in any other city one could name.
...
Except for the Othered, of course.
January 9, 2026 at 1:38 AM
One of the most asked questions we're asked whether our beautiful city is more dangerous at night.
The truth is, a night in New Thelema is much like a night in any other city one could name.
...
Except for the Othered, of course.
The truth is, a night in New Thelema is much like a night in any other city one could name.
...
Except for the Othered, of course.
The Bureau wishes to remind all tourists and residents to drink responsibly when you go out tonight.
Whether it's 'one for the road', being offered drugs, getting pulled into a bar fight, or being invited to a private soiree hosted by a secret vampire coven, remember:
Resist temptation!
Whether it's 'one for the road', being offered drugs, getting pulled into a bar fight, or being invited to a private soiree hosted by a secret vampire coven, remember:
Resist temptation!
January 9, 2026 at 1:04 AM
The Bureau wishes to remind all tourists and residents to drink responsibly when you go out tonight.
Whether it's 'one for the road', being offered drugs, getting pulled into a bar fight, or being invited to a private soiree hosted by a secret vampire coven, remember:
Resist temptation!
Whether it's 'one for the road', being offered drugs, getting pulled into a bar fight, or being invited to a private soiree hosted by a secret vampire coven, remember:
Resist temptation!
Unfortunately, our website is still down due to a very nasty bug.
Not a computer bug, but a rather large beetle who has taken up residence in our lead technician's cubicle.
We apologise for the delay and will update you further on the situation.
(To all staff: Do Not Approach The Beetle!)
Not a computer bug, but a rather large beetle who has taken up residence in our lead technician's cubicle.
We apologise for the delay and will update you further on the situation.
(To all staff: Do Not Approach The Beetle!)
January 8, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Unfortunately, our website is still down due to a very nasty bug.
Not a computer bug, but a rather large beetle who has taken up residence in our lead technician's cubicle.
We apologise for the delay and will update you further on the situation.
(To all staff: Do Not Approach The Beetle!)
Not a computer bug, but a rather large beetle who has taken up residence in our lead technician's cubicle.
We apologise for the delay and will update you further on the situation.
(To all staff: Do Not Approach The Beetle!)
TECHNICAL UPDATE: The Second Engineer has confirmed that the previous message is due to a minor technical glitch. Nothing more.
The Bureau is greatly relieved since our workload is high enough without having to write 'transmission from "the other side"' into our weekly maintenance reports.
The Bureau is greatly relieved since our workload is high enough without having to write 'transmission from "the other side"' into our weekly maintenance reports.
The Bureau would like to sincerely apologise for the odd message earlier - the Surly Technician explained that sometimes, a 'transmission' breaks through the veil and finds a suitable outlet to relays its unheard song from the 'other side'
(No, we don't understand either)
(No, we don't understand either)
January 8, 2026 at 1:02 PM
TECHNICAL UPDATE: The Second Engineer has confirmed that the previous message is due to a minor technical glitch. Nothing more.
The Bureau is greatly relieved since our workload is high enough without having to write 'transmission from "the other side"' into our weekly maintenance reports.
The Bureau is greatly relieved since our workload is high enough without having to write 'transmission from "the other side"' into our weekly maintenance reports.
The Bureau would like to sincerely apologise for the odd message earlier - the Surly Technician explained that sometimes, a 'transmission' breaks through the veil and finds a suitable outlet to relays its unheard song from the 'other side'
(No, we don't understand either)
(No, we don't understand either)
January 8, 2026 at 12:45 PM
The Bureau would like to sincerely apologise for the odd message earlier - the Surly Technician explained that sometimes, a 'transmission' breaks through the veil and finds a suitable outlet to relays its unheard song from the 'other side'
(No, we don't understand either)
(No, we don't understand either)
I see it now - the screaming will never stop.
She will never leave me be.
She will never leave me be.
January 8, 2026 at 9:20 AM
I see it now - the screaming will never stop.
She will never leave me be.
She will never leave me be.
Due to an atrocious breach of manners, the Garden Square fountain will be closed until further notice.
Residents living around the square are advised to boil any tap water for the next 12 hours.
Residents living around the square are advised to boil any tap water for the next 12 hours.
January 7, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Due to an atrocious breach of manners, the Garden Square fountain will be closed until further notice.
Residents living around the square are advised to boil any tap water for the next 12 hours.
Residents living around the square are advised to boil any tap water for the next 12 hours.
Visitors are reminded to keep the streets of New Thelema nice and clean during their visit.
Please remember to:
-not litter the streets
-wash your hands
-brush your teeth
-dress all wounds
-wear clean clothes
-avoid any slime on the pavement
Thank you for keeping our city fresh!
Please remember to:
-not litter the streets
-wash your hands
-brush your teeth
-dress all wounds
-wear clean clothes
-avoid any slime on the pavement
Thank you for keeping our city fresh!
January 7, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Visitors are reminded to keep the streets of New Thelema nice and clean during their visit.
Please remember to:
-not litter the streets
-wash your hands
-brush your teeth
-dress all wounds
-wear clean clothes
-avoid any slime on the pavement
Thank you for keeping our city fresh!
Please remember to:
-not litter the streets
-wash your hands
-brush your teeth
-dress all wounds
-wear clean clothes
-avoid any slime on the pavement
Thank you for keeping our city fresh!
Welcome to the official outreach page for The Bureau of Eccentric and Esoteric Sightseeing, part of the New Thelema Tourism Initiative!
Join us for community outreach, destination hotspots, 'City Slicker of the Month', and so much more!
New Thelema: Ordinary Strangeness!
Join us for community outreach, destination hotspots, 'City Slicker of the Month', and so much more!
New Thelema: Ordinary Strangeness!
January 7, 2026 at 2:01 PM
Welcome to the official outreach page for The Bureau of Eccentric and Esoteric Sightseeing, part of the New Thelema Tourism Initiative!
Join us for community outreach, destination hotspots, 'City Slicker of the Month', and so much more!
New Thelema: Ordinary Strangeness!
Join us for community outreach, destination hotspots, 'City Slicker of the Month', and so much more!
New Thelema: Ordinary Strangeness!