Jenn Bianchi
@newsomeyall.bsky.social
Writer, Comedian, & Improv Enthusiast!
Someone just corrected me on their proper pronouns… in a dream.
I must be without saving from the woke virus. Ah, nuts.
I must be without saving from the woke virus. Ah, nuts.
January 8, 2026 at 12:25 PM
Someone just corrected me on their proper pronouns… in a dream.
I must be without saving from the woke virus. Ah, nuts.
I must be without saving from the woke virus. Ah, nuts.
2nd year in a row my top two artists are Taylor Swift and OutKast.
Inside of me are two wolves… and they both have exquisite music tastes.
Inside of me are two wolves… and they both have exquisite music tastes.
December 4, 2025 at 7:41 PM
2nd year in a row my top two artists are Taylor Swift and OutKast.
Inside of me are two wolves… and they both have exquisite music tastes.
Inside of me are two wolves… and they both have exquisite music tastes.
Welcome to National Post Turkey Day Refrigerator Tetris Day.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
November 28, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Welcome to National Post Turkey Day Refrigerator Tetris Day.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
Hi. Friendly reminder… Big Box Blackout begins today and goes till Dec 2nd. If you are able please use your dollars at local establishments. Avoid big retailers!
November 26, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Hi. Friendly reminder… Big Box Blackout begins today and goes till Dec 2nd. If you are able please use your dollars at local establishments. Avoid big retailers!
Things are NUTZ in Raleigh.
Good thing The Rialto has humor about it.
Good thing The Rialto has humor about it.
November 19, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Things are NUTZ in Raleigh.
Good thing The Rialto has humor about it.
Good thing The Rialto has humor about it.
Me high as a kite at the airport. “Ooh, we’re here early I could get a travel buzz.”
My husband: “Don’t you already have a travel buzz?”
Me: “No. I have a regular buzz. Travel buzz includes booze.”
Lady next to us in TSA “Facts.”
My husband: “Don’t you already have a travel buzz?”
Me: “No. I have a regular buzz. Travel buzz includes booze.”
Lady next to us in TSA “Facts.”
November 10, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Me high as a kite at the airport. “Ooh, we’re here early I could get a travel buzz.”
My husband: “Don’t you already have a travel buzz?”
Me: “No. I have a regular buzz. Travel buzz includes booze.”
Lady next to us in TSA “Facts.”
My husband: “Don’t you already have a travel buzz?”
Me: “No. I have a regular buzz. Travel buzz includes booze.”
Lady next to us in TSA “Facts.”
Today feels like a good day to get drunk on a patio.
October 17, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Today feels like a good day to get drunk on a patio.
Thought I had a mole on my arm… it was a sequin from a green party dress I tried on last night.
What a way to wake up… it’s not cancer, but you are nearly blind.
What a way to wake up… it’s not cancer, but you are nearly blind.
October 15, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Thought I had a mole on my arm… it was a sequin from a green party dress I tried on last night.
What a way to wake up… it’s not cancer, but you are nearly blind.
What a way to wake up… it’s not cancer, but you are nearly blind.
Vertigo, a new symptom of perimenopause. It feels like middle aged Pokémon…. Gotta collect ‘em all.
October 11, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Vertigo, a new symptom of perimenopause. It feels like middle aged Pokémon…. Gotta collect ‘em all.
No, I don’t remember phone numbers, birthdays, or doctor appointments. My brain power is strictly reserved for 90’s Hip Hop lyrics.
September 13, 2025 at 8:43 PM
No, I don’t remember phone numbers, birthdays, or doctor appointments. My brain power is strictly reserved for 90’s Hip Hop lyrics.
Espresso martinis are just Red Bull and vodkas for grown ups.
September 10, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Espresso martinis are just Red Bull and vodkas for grown ups.
So… is Miles Davis just jam band music for people that drink Hot Tea?
August 8, 2025 at 7:08 PM
So… is Miles Davis just jam band music for people that drink Hot Tea?
Today I got to take a surprise backstage tour at the NC Crime Lab. I now know how they get finger prints off dead bodies….. it’s not how you’d think.
July 30, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Today I got to take a surprise backstage tour at the NC Crime Lab. I now know how they get finger prints off dead bodies….. it’s not how you’d think.
Just got a Senior Citizens discount at the Harris Teeter.
I don’t know if that’s a “Thank you” or an “F-u”.
I don’t know if that’s a “Thank you” or an “F-u”.
July 10, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Just got a Senior Citizens discount at the Harris Teeter.
I don’t know if that’s a “Thank you” or an “F-u”.
I don’t know if that’s a “Thank you” or an “F-u”.
Good news: Teen overdoses are way down.
Bad news: Kids today are f’n lame.
Bad news: Kids today are f’n lame.
June 10, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Good news: Teen overdoses are way down.
Bad news: Kids today are f’n lame.
Bad news: Kids today are f’n lame.
Happy PRIDE!
Be Gay. Do Crimes.
Be Gay. Do Crimes.
June 1, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Happy PRIDE!
Be Gay. Do Crimes.
Be Gay. Do Crimes.
Sometimes, when I wear a cute and comfortable outfit I think to myself “This wouldn’t be a bad outfit to die in. I could spend eternity in this jumpsuit…. Ooh, it has pockets!”
Calling it “Comfy Nihilism”
Calling it “Comfy Nihilism”
May 29, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Sometimes, when I wear a cute and comfortable outfit I think to myself “This wouldn’t be a bad outfit to die in. I could spend eternity in this jumpsuit…. Ooh, it has pockets!”
Calling it “Comfy Nihilism”
Calling it “Comfy Nihilism”
I girl bossed too hard… now I’m in charge and I don’t like it.
Can someone please send a more “adulty” adult to take my place?
Can someone please send a more “adulty” adult to take my place?
April 9, 2025 at 10:42 PM
I girl bossed too hard… now I’m in charge and I don’t like it.
Can someone please send a more “adulty” adult to take my place?
Can someone please send a more “adulty” adult to take my place?
Why I stopped going to church and made Ben Harper’s “Burn One Down” my religion.
An essay in three parts:
An essay in three parts:
March 28, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Why I stopped going to church and made Ben Harper’s “Burn One Down” my religion.
An essay in three parts:
An essay in three parts:
To all the crows… hey gurl. Wanna peanut?
March 15, 2025 at 4:45 AM
To all the crows… hey gurl. Wanna peanut?
Excuse me… whomever is in charge…. I’d like to live in the world of Animal Crossing. NOT Animal Farm.
Thank you.
Thank you.
February 26, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Excuse me… whomever is in charge…. I’d like to live in the world of Animal Crossing. NOT Animal Farm.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I’m sad. Maybe this whole box of Caramel Delights will solve it.
January 31, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I’m sad. Maybe this whole box of Caramel Delights will solve it.
I just don’t know how I’m supposed to explain to my family they should care about others…
They f’n taught me that. Now what?
They f’n taught me that. Now what?
January 21, 2025 at 7:44 PM
I just don’t know how I’m supposed to explain to my family they should care about others…
They f’n taught me that. Now what?
They f’n taught me that. Now what?
Is it too early in this presidency to start day drinking?
January 20, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Is it too early in this presidency to start day drinking?
There is no greater Tetris like thanksgiving fridge Tetris.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
November 24, 2023 at 7:55 PM
There is no greater Tetris like thanksgiving fridge Tetris.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.