Stephen Crowder Reminds Nation 'All Fridays Matter'

"Deploying to major cities including Chicago, Los Angeles and for some reason Charlotte, DHS leadership described the operations’ goal as seizing and detaining criminal currency that 'doesn’t look like it belongs around here.'"

Fetterman's Latest Head Injury Jolts Him Progressive

“In this time of crisis, we need a chairperson who believes in our party’s shared vision for the future,” Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) said in a Monday interview. “That vision being, of course, to sit quietly in the corner and watch while Republicans fuck everything."

"Gesturing broadly to a fleet of ten thousand bulldozers, Trump emphasized that what this nation needs is 'more luxury entertainment space', and less of 'whatever Rhode Island is.'”

"The app is designed to appeal directly to the often-underserved market of people who have $20 or more, Singh said. 'Any consumer will be able to go on their phone, go to where apps are sold, and then give us $20 to have it.'”

"The Thompsons told adoption agents that they don’t see a productive future partnership with Tristan, and feel that the newborn failed to adequately adjust to the culture and values of their household."

“We could tell she’s a smart one, but she has really blown us away with how precocious and class conscious she’s been,” said Octavio Herrera, Rosa’s father. “Not only can she see that trade unions have disappeared — she knows they’re still out there somewhere, even when we cover her eyes.”

"Thiel, a powerful voice in the tech industry and a festering host for future generations of tech company minds, reportedly chittered with glee as a wave of horrid spawn erupted from his skin pustules before skittering off into the city to launch startups."

"The event, which definitely occurred already without you, featured numerous prominent speakers who weren’t that big of a deal, so you shouldn’t worry about it. In fact, it probably went better without you being there, honestly."

“They say that greatness is not for the chosen few. It’s for the few that choose it,” he said, lobbing a tear gas bomb into a nearby jungle gym. “That’s the kind of mindset I’m about, bro. Philosophical type shit.”