newaged
@newagedroyalty.bsky.social
just a guy who says stuff sometimes
just got hit with the curse of 4 kids under the age of 10 with noise toys from the dentist at the walk in clinic, wish me luck
August 8, 2025 at 10:44 PM
just got hit with the curse of 4 kids under the age of 10 with noise toys from the dentist at the walk in clinic, wish me luck
visited my gf on a 13 hour shift to give her my charger and a little kiss, as I entered she was cursed with family of 8 talking over one another
July 5, 2025 at 12:35 AM
visited my gf on a 13 hour shift to give her my charger and a little kiss, as I entered she was cursed with family of 8 talking over one another
saw a man, did a jig, don't talk to me
June 26, 2025 at 2:15 AM
saw a man, did a jig, don't talk to me
my gfs roommate is chewing tictacs like theyre skittles, im so glad she's graduating cuz apparently she'd been living with the devil for the past 3 years and we didn't know
May 16, 2025 at 1:43 AM
my gfs roommate is chewing tictacs like theyre skittles, im so glad she's graduating cuz apparently she'd been living with the devil for the past 3 years and we didn't know
gonna pull up to the function like a creeper (hiss for a little, blow up, then respawn and do it all again)
April 24, 2025 at 8:45 PM
gonna pull up to the function like a creeper (hiss for a little, blow up, then respawn and do it all again)
I haven't posted here in over two weeks, there's gotta be something in the thinkpan I'm missing
March 27, 2025 at 5:39 AM
I haven't posted here in over two weeks, there's gotta be something in the thinkpan I'm missing
do you think they salt the holy water before they boil the hell outta it?
March 10, 2025 at 10:44 PM
do you think they salt the holy water before they boil the hell outta it?
will never forget when my gf looked at me the other day and went "you look like you're standing in line for a nirvana concert no one else knows about"
February 21, 2025 at 7:34 AM
will never forget when my gf looked at me the other day and went "you look like you're standing in line for a nirvana concert no one else knows about"
homies, is it gay to light your mortal enemies' cigarette with your magic fire powers?
January 30, 2025 at 5:27 AM
homies, is it gay to light your mortal enemies' cigarette with your magic fire powers?
fell outside of dollar general, but I was the least embarrassing person there cuz someone else's card declined
January 29, 2025 at 3:20 AM
fell outside of dollar general, but I was the least embarrassing person there cuz someone else's card declined
then you know what it's like to chew 5 hour footlong
January 27, 2025 at 4:53 AM
then you know what it's like to chew 5 hour footlong
tempted a coworker with mead to keep him away from his skank ex
January 25, 2025 at 11:12 PM
tempted a coworker with mead to keep him away from his skank ex
I've been chilling with only one shoe on for the past hour now, just thought yall would wanna know
January 25, 2025 at 11:10 PM
I've been chilling with only one shoe on for the past hour now, just thought yall would wanna know
henceforth my child, get comedically high in inappropriate places
January 20, 2025 at 12:04 AM
henceforth my child, get comedically high in inappropriate places
no man can resist the fifth mambo
January 19, 2025 at 7:30 PM
no man can resist the fifth mambo
she Dome on my Fossil till I 40hp
January 17, 2025 at 6:01 AM
she Dome on my Fossil till I 40hp
just got a nosebleed and that shit was magenta, I gotta be careful or that black and white teddy bear is gonna lock me up
January 17, 2025 at 5:35 AM
just got a nosebleed and that shit was magenta, I gotta be careful or that black and white teddy bear is gonna lock me up
gonna cast a Pharoah Curse on the mfer that almost cut me off back there, get sanded idiot
January 16, 2025 at 9:24 PM
gonna cast a Pharoah Curse on the mfer that almost cut me off back there, get sanded idiot
my gf keeps posting the funny things I say to her account so I just need to make sure I can take credit for my own funnies sometimes
January 16, 2025 at 7:37 PM
my gf keeps posting the funny things I say to her account so I just need to make sure I can take credit for my own funnies sometimes