manda
@neveragainforever.bsky.social
a heart of wildfire with the soul of a dragon
Now I’m confused,
Healing, and confused.
Someone else made me feel whole again so soon.
But I’m still here with you.
Trapped? I think so.
I can’t help you.
Someone else occupies the space in my mind.
Not permanently.
But simply, for now.
Healing, and confused.
Someone else made me feel whole again so soon.
But I’m still here with you.
Trapped? I think so.
I can’t help you.
Someone else occupies the space in my mind.
Not permanently.
But simply, for now.
December 16, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Now I’m confused,
Healing, and confused.
Someone else made me feel whole again so soon.
But I’m still here with you.
Trapped? I think so.
I can’t help you.
Someone else occupies the space in my mind.
Not permanently.
But simply, for now.
Healing, and confused.
Someone else made me feel whole again so soon.
But I’m still here with you.
Trapped? I think so.
I can’t help you.
Someone else occupies the space in my mind.
Not permanently.
But simply, for now.
I deserved it.
I’m sorry.
I don’t mean to be terrible, but I am.
I want so badly to understand myself too.
I’m sorry.
I deserved it.
I’m sorry.
I don’t mean to be terrible, but I am.
I want so badly to understand myself too.
I’m sorry.
I deserved it.
December 7, 2025 at 2:01 PM
I deserved it.
I’m sorry.
I don’t mean to be terrible, but I am.
I want so badly to understand myself too.
I’m sorry.
I deserved it.
I’m sorry.
I don’t mean to be terrible, but I am.
I want so badly to understand myself too.
I’m sorry.
I deserved it.
With every beat of my broken wings, I gain more strength.
Soon they will be healed, and I’ll feel the wind beneath them again.
I ache for the freedom of flight again.
Release me.
I will continue to heal, even in the place where I was hurt.
My future is bright and full of light.
Soon they will be healed, and I’ll feel the wind beneath them again.
I ache for the freedom of flight again.
Release me.
I will continue to heal, even in the place where I was hurt.
My future is bright and full of light.
December 2, 2025 at 9:45 PM
With every beat of my broken wings, I gain more strength.
Soon they will be healed, and I’ll feel the wind beneath them again.
I ache for the freedom of flight again.
Release me.
I will continue to heal, even in the place where I was hurt.
My future is bright and full of light.
Soon they will be healed, and I’ll feel the wind beneath them again.
I ache for the freedom of flight again.
Release me.
I will continue to heal, even in the place where I was hurt.
My future is bright and full of light.
I am willing myself into steel.
Strong. Resilient. Steel.
The wildfire raging in my chest will mold me into something new.
The rebirth of a soul.
Not to shut out others or emotions,
Just to protect.
I cannot forget who I am.
I cannot forget what I am.
My wings are growing back, stronger.
Strong. Resilient. Steel.
The wildfire raging in my chest will mold me into something new.
The rebirth of a soul.
Not to shut out others or emotions,
Just to protect.
I cannot forget who I am.
I cannot forget what I am.
My wings are growing back, stronger.
November 28, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I am willing myself into steel.
Strong. Resilient. Steel.
The wildfire raging in my chest will mold me into something new.
The rebirth of a soul.
Not to shut out others or emotions,
Just to protect.
I cannot forget who I am.
I cannot forget what I am.
My wings are growing back, stronger.
Strong. Resilient. Steel.
The wildfire raging in my chest will mold me into something new.
The rebirth of a soul.
Not to shut out others or emotions,
Just to protect.
I cannot forget who I am.
I cannot forget what I am.
My wings are growing back, stronger.
I think the pain of pretending I no longer love you is worse than the pain of losing you.
This is a horrible pain. An unforgiving one.
I have to pretend everything is different when my body wants such routine things from you.
I’m forcing myself to fall out of love with you.
Again. And again.
This is a horrible pain. An unforgiving one.
I have to pretend everything is different when my body wants such routine things from you.
I’m forcing myself to fall out of love with you.
Again. And again.
November 26, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I think the pain of pretending I no longer love you is worse than the pain of losing you.
This is a horrible pain. An unforgiving one.
I have to pretend everything is different when my body wants such routine things from you.
I’m forcing myself to fall out of love with you.
Again. And again.
This is a horrible pain. An unforgiving one.
I have to pretend everything is different when my body wants such routine things from you.
I’m forcing myself to fall out of love with you.
Again. And again.
I’m breaking daily, an infinite amount of times.
I can barely get through the day with a smile on my face.
You’re too close for me to heal.
I need to heal from you. From us. From what we were. From what we will never be.
I need space.
I need air.
I’m suffocating here.
Make it stop.
I can barely get through the day with a smile on my face.
You’re too close for me to heal.
I need to heal from you. From us. From what we were. From what we will never be.
I need space.
I need air.
I’m suffocating here.
Make it stop.
November 24, 2025 at 5:51 PM
I’m breaking daily, an infinite amount of times.
I can barely get through the day with a smile on my face.
You’re too close for me to heal.
I need to heal from you. From us. From what we were. From what we will never be.
I need space.
I need air.
I’m suffocating here.
Make it stop.
I can barely get through the day with a smile on my face.
You’re too close for me to heal.
I need to heal from you. From us. From what we were. From what we will never be.
I need space.
I need air.
I’m suffocating here.
Make it stop.
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
November 23, 2025 at 4:49 PM
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
broken
I feel it in my bones that there’s someone else.
But does it even really matter when you’re not even together?
“We’re still exclusive though.”
It doesn’t matter.
We aren’t together anymore.
I should stop caring.
But does it even really matter when you’re not even together?
“We’re still exclusive though.”
It doesn’t matter.
We aren’t together anymore.
I should stop caring.
November 19, 2025 at 5:24 PM
I feel it in my bones that there’s someone else.
But does it even really matter when you’re not even together?
“We’re still exclusive though.”
It doesn’t matter.
We aren’t together anymore.
I should stop caring.
But does it even really matter when you’re not even together?
“We’re still exclusive though.”
It doesn’t matter.
We aren’t together anymore.
I should stop caring.
This is a slow torture, a burning agony.
I don’t trust you at all anymore.
But we’re still in such close quarters.
How do I trust you after all of this?
I wish I could spread my wings faster and fly sooner.
Yet I’m confined until my flight feathers grow back.
Grow faster.
Please.
Grow faster.
I don’t trust you at all anymore.
But we’re still in such close quarters.
How do I trust you after all of this?
I wish I could spread my wings faster and fly sooner.
Yet I’m confined until my flight feathers grow back.
Grow faster.
Please.
Grow faster.
November 19, 2025 at 12:42 PM
This is a slow torture, a burning agony.
I don’t trust you at all anymore.
But we’re still in such close quarters.
How do I trust you after all of this?
I wish I could spread my wings faster and fly sooner.
Yet I’m confined until my flight feathers grow back.
Grow faster.
Please.
Grow faster.
I don’t trust you at all anymore.
But we’re still in such close quarters.
How do I trust you after all of this?
I wish I could spread my wings faster and fly sooner.
Yet I’m confined until my flight feathers grow back.
Grow faster.
Please.
Grow faster.
It is so exhausting.
Living every day in a cold sweat of stress and sadness.
Everyday I worry I’m being lied to,
Everyday I worry about what’s actually going on.
I think I’m losing my mind.
My heart aches violently every single day.
Every hour.
Every minute.
I can’t keeping going like this.
Living every day in a cold sweat of stress and sadness.
Everyday I worry I’m being lied to,
Everyday I worry about what’s actually going on.
I think I’m losing my mind.
My heart aches violently every single day.
Every hour.
Every minute.
I can’t keeping going like this.
November 6, 2025 at 11:07 AM
It is so exhausting.
Living every day in a cold sweat of stress and sadness.
Everyday I worry I’m being lied to,
Everyday I worry about what’s actually going on.
I think I’m losing my mind.
My heart aches violently every single day.
Every hour.
Every minute.
I can’t keeping going like this.
Living every day in a cold sweat of stress and sadness.
Everyday I worry I’m being lied to,
Everyday I worry about what’s actually going on.
I think I’m losing my mind.
My heart aches violently every single day.
Every hour.
Every minute.
I can’t keeping going like this.
I hate letting other people make me feel like I’m not human.
Like I’m not allowed to have emotions.
I feel anything and it’s wrong.
I say anything and it’s wrong.
I’m still a human.
I no longer feel like I belong because other people deemed it that way.
Maybe they’re right.
Like I’m not allowed to have emotions.
I feel anything and it’s wrong.
I say anything and it’s wrong.
I’m still a human.
I no longer feel like I belong because other people deemed it that way.
Maybe they’re right.
November 5, 2025 at 11:15 AM
I hate letting other people make me feel like I’m not human.
Like I’m not allowed to have emotions.
I feel anything and it’s wrong.
I say anything and it’s wrong.
I’m still a human.
I no longer feel like I belong because other people deemed it that way.
Maybe they’re right.
Like I’m not allowed to have emotions.
I feel anything and it’s wrong.
I say anything and it’s wrong.
I’m still a human.
I no longer feel like I belong because other people deemed it that way.
Maybe they’re right.
Here I am again, talking to the moon.
I’m always talking to the moon.
She’s the only one who listens to me.
She’s the only one who understands me.
She lets me break apart completely and say anything I need to.
The moon makes me feel like a person again, when so many others make me feel like less.
I’m always talking to the moon.
She’s the only one who listens to me.
She’s the only one who understands me.
She lets me break apart completely and say anything I need to.
The moon makes me feel like a person again, when so many others make me feel like less.
November 5, 2025 at 11:13 AM
Here I am again, talking to the moon.
I’m always talking to the moon.
She’s the only one who listens to me.
She’s the only one who understands me.
She lets me break apart completely and say anything I need to.
The moon makes me feel like a person again, when so many others make me feel like less.
I’m always talking to the moon.
She’s the only one who listens to me.
She’s the only one who understands me.
She lets me break apart completely and say anything I need to.
The moon makes me feel like a person again, when so many others make me feel like less.
I feel like I’m constantly drowning, what am I doing?
Nothing makes sense.
I don’t believe everything I’ll work out the way I want.
I’m so confused every day.
I hate this feeling.
My soul knows the answers but I’ll continue to ignore her.
Nothing makes sense.
I don’t believe everything I’ll work out the way I want.
I’m so confused every day.
I hate this feeling.
My soul knows the answers but I’ll continue to ignore her.
November 4, 2025 at 1:24 PM
I feel like I’m constantly drowning, what am I doing?
Nothing makes sense.
I don’t believe everything I’ll work out the way I want.
I’m so confused every day.
I hate this feeling.
My soul knows the answers but I’ll continue to ignore her.
Nothing makes sense.
I don’t believe everything I’ll work out the way I want.
I’m so confused every day.
I hate this feeling.
My soul knows the answers but I’ll continue to ignore her.
No matter how much I work to change,
Nor how much I do change,
I’ll never been seen as anything more than the person I was.
I’ll always be held back by people who will only see me as bad.
I’m growing.
I’m changing.
I’m proud of myself, regardless of what others think.
I’m better now.
Nor how much I do change,
I’ll never been seen as anything more than the person I was.
I’ll always be held back by people who will only see me as bad.
I’m growing.
I’m changing.
I’m proud of myself, regardless of what others think.
I’m better now.
November 4, 2025 at 12:56 PM
No matter how much I work to change,
Nor how much I do change,
I’ll never been seen as anything more than the person I was.
I’ll always be held back by people who will only see me as bad.
I’m growing.
I’m changing.
I’m proud of myself, regardless of what others think.
I’m better now.
Nor how much I do change,
I’ll never been seen as anything more than the person I was.
I’ll always be held back by people who will only see me as bad.
I’m growing.
I’m changing.
I’m proud of myself, regardless of what others think.
I’m better now.
I’m never trying to argue,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m never trying to be defensive,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m never trying to make excuses,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m just trying to be understood..
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m never trying to be defensive,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m never trying to make excuses,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m just trying to be understood..
November 4, 2025 at 1:37 AM
I’m never trying to argue,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m never trying to be defensive,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m never trying to make excuses,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m just trying to be understood..
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m never trying to be defensive,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m never trying to make excuses,
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m just trying to be understood.
I’m just trying to be understood..
You healed me, and then broke me into a million pieces.
Now my fingertips bleed as I desperately try to pick up all the pieces.
Forcing them back into place.
But it’s not working.
I’m still bursting at the seams.
I cannot heal where I was broken.
Oh, how the realization hurts.
Now my fingertips bleed as I desperately try to pick up all the pieces.
Forcing them back into place.
But it’s not working.
I’m still bursting at the seams.
I cannot heal where I was broken.
Oh, how the realization hurts.
November 4, 2025 at 1:11 AM
You healed me, and then broke me into a million pieces.
Now my fingertips bleed as I desperately try to pick up all the pieces.
Forcing them back into place.
But it’s not working.
I’m still bursting at the seams.
I cannot heal where I was broken.
Oh, how the realization hurts.
Now my fingertips bleed as I desperately try to pick up all the pieces.
Forcing them back into place.
But it’s not working.
I’m still bursting at the seams.
I cannot heal where I was broken.
Oh, how the realization hurts.
Starting over is agony,
But necessary.
All the pain you experience at the start, makes you stronger in the end.
To be reborn is a blessing.
I will not take this lightly.
But necessary.
All the pain you experience at the start, makes you stronger in the end.
To be reborn is a blessing.
I will not take this lightly.
September 4, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Starting over is agony,
But necessary.
All the pain you experience at the start, makes you stronger in the end.
To be reborn is a blessing.
I will not take this lightly.
But necessary.
All the pain you experience at the start, makes you stronger in the end.
To be reborn is a blessing.
I will not take this lightly.
I’m so homesick for a place that no longer exists.
Nothing will ever been the same.
Everything is changing.
I’m searching for a place that no longer exists.
Nothing will ever been the same.
Everything is changing.
I’m searching for a place that no longer exists.
September 2, 2025 at 8:51 PM
I’m so homesick for a place that no longer exists.
Nothing will ever been the same.
Everything is changing.
I’m searching for a place that no longer exists.
Nothing will ever been the same.
Everything is changing.
I’m searching for a place that no longer exists.
I’m grieving the loss of someone I haven’t fully lost yet.
There’s a raging, screaming, violent ache in my chest.
It’s debilitating, and I’m not sure where to go from here.
I cannot stop the pain from spreading throughout my entire body.
My grief will destroy me.
There’s a raging, screaming, violent ache in my chest.
It’s debilitating, and I’m not sure where to go from here.
I cannot stop the pain from spreading throughout my entire body.
My grief will destroy me.
September 2, 2025 at 10:08 AM
I’m grieving the loss of someone I haven’t fully lost yet.
There’s a raging, screaming, violent ache in my chest.
It’s debilitating, and I’m not sure where to go from here.
I cannot stop the pain from spreading throughout my entire body.
My grief will destroy me.
There’s a raging, screaming, violent ache in my chest.
It’s debilitating, and I’m not sure where to go from here.
I cannot stop the pain from spreading throughout my entire body.
My grief will destroy me.
You love the idea of me, but not me.
You love what you see on the outside, but not what’s on the inside.
You love the persona I put on, but not what you see behind closed doors.
I am more than a body.
I am more than a fantasy.
I am more than what you want me to be.
I am enough.
You love what you see on the outside, but not what’s on the inside.
You love the persona I put on, but not what you see behind closed doors.
I am more than a body.
I am more than a fantasy.
I am more than what you want me to be.
I am enough.
August 24, 2025 at 11:26 PM
You love the idea of me, but not me.
You love what you see on the outside, but not what’s on the inside.
You love the persona I put on, but not what you see behind closed doors.
I am more than a body.
I am more than a fantasy.
I am more than what you want me to be.
I am enough.
You love what you see on the outside, but not what’s on the inside.
You love the persona I put on, but not what you see behind closed doors.
I am more than a body.
I am more than a fantasy.
I am more than what you want me to be.
I am enough.
Why do you haunt my soul?
The precious essence of who I am, tainted by yours.
All the brightest parts of me, forced to have a lingering darkness in the corner.
I hate you.
I dream about you, even though I loathe you.
Strange.
The precious essence of who I am, tainted by yours.
All the brightest parts of me, forced to have a lingering darkness in the corner.
I hate you.
I dream about you, even though I loathe you.
Strange.
August 20, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Why do you haunt my soul?
The precious essence of who I am, tainted by yours.
All the brightest parts of me, forced to have a lingering darkness in the corner.
I hate you.
I dream about you, even though I loathe you.
Strange.
The precious essence of who I am, tainted by yours.
All the brightest parts of me, forced to have a lingering darkness in the corner.
I hate you.
I dream about you, even though I loathe you.
Strange.
In between liquid starlight and lavender skies,
I watched my soul dance in your eyes.
Then came my worst mistake,
Of letting you think it was yours to take.
Oh, how deeply I regret it.
I watched my soul dance in your eyes.
Then came my worst mistake,
Of letting you think it was yours to take.
Oh, how deeply I regret it.
August 19, 2025 at 1:08 PM
In between liquid starlight and lavender skies,
I watched my soul dance in your eyes.
Then came my worst mistake,
Of letting you think it was yours to take.
Oh, how deeply I regret it.
I watched my soul dance in your eyes.
Then came my worst mistake,
Of letting you think it was yours to take.
Oh, how deeply I regret it.
There’s that dragging feeling again.
My wings behind me, clipped and torn.
I tried to run, tried to hide, but again you found me.
The air reeks of cigarette smoke, so dense I could suffocate.
Why must you torment me so?
I guess I’ll check every corner I turn.
But as always, I continue to walk on.
My wings behind me, clipped and torn.
I tried to run, tried to hide, but again you found me.
The air reeks of cigarette smoke, so dense I could suffocate.
Why must you torment me so?
I guess I’ll check every corner I turn.
But as always, I continue to walk on.
August 18, 2025 at 10:50 PM
There’s that dragging feeling again.
My wings behind me, clipped and torn.
I tried to run, tried to hide, but again you found me.
The air reeks of cigarette smoke, so dense I could suffocate.
Why must you torment me so?
I guess I’ll check every corner I turn.
But as always, I continue to walk on.
My wings behind me, clipped and torn.
I tried to run, tried to hide, but again you found me.
The air reeks of cigarette smoke, so dense I could suffocate.
Why must you torment me so?
I guess I’ll check every corner I turn.
But as always, I continue to walk on.