Ironically all of the people who wear “don’t California my Tennessee” shirts are about to get hit with the most California shit ever: $7 a gallon

Don’t mix 2% milk with Lowfat if you like your asshole to be intact

My toxic trait is putting 2-foot balls of tinfoil in the microwave

I asked my gf if this is true and she couldn’t make up her mind

I dip my joints in grease and soot before smoking them

IF YOURE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATING THEN YOU PROBABLY ARENT DICKING HER DOWN WELL ENOUGH. TRY HARDER

I’d probably like electronic music if it wasn’t so fucking terrible tbh

Nuclear war is inevitable if we have another Brat Summer type trend this year. Brat Summer was one of the top three reasons we are where we are right now.

Just rawdogged a flight like David Puddy fr

so funny when somebody is talking about “spoilers for the new Star Wars show” like we don’t know that no matter what happens we know that the story will display a wide series of events that ultimately lead up to Luke and Leia kissing on the mouth

Bro if you have like 2k followers on this app ur an enlightened demigod

So RFK is gonna be at the top of that autist list right?

Can anyone call a Fatwah on somebody or can it only be the Ayatollah
#fatwah

Hey guys