Ned Petrie
@nedpetrie.bsky.social
If I'm getting this math correct, every 1 pill was going to somehow kill 5+ people - killing 1/3rd of the US population over three months. TO THINK THIS ALMOST HAPPENED.
April 30, 2025 at 4:25 PM
If I'm getting this math correct, every 1 pill was going to somehow kill 5+ people - killing 1/3rd of the US population over three months. TO THINK THIS ALMOST HAPPENED.
Occupation: TikTok Bootlegger
January 19, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Occupation: TikTok Bootlegger
And you chumps were telling me it was time to give my dead salmon hat to Goodwill.
November 28, 2024 at 4:27 PM
And you chumps were telling me it was time to give my dead salmon hat to Goodwill.
Yo Homes, smell ya later!
October 4, 2024 at 1:55 AM
Yo Homes, smell ya later!
PARK RANGERS TALKING TO THE FAMILY OF THE MISSING HIKER:
'The bad news is we never found your husband. But on the bright side...'
'The bad news is we never found your husband. But on the bright side...'
August 29, 2024 at 4:31 PM
PARK RANGERS TALKING TO THE FAMILY OF THE MISSING HIKER:
'The bad news is we never found your husband. But on the bright side...'
'The bad news is we never found your husband. But on the bright side...'
It's a simple question, yet none of the so-called "experts" can give us a straight answer
August 28, 2024 at 4:22 PM
It's a simple question, yet none of the so-called "experts" can give us a straight answer
August 24, 2024 at 4:00 PM
DO YOUR BIT, YOU SKATE-LESS JERKS!
August 23, 2024 at 11:31 AM
DO YOUR BIT, YOU SKATE-LESS JERKS!
HR Giger came up with all the Alien designs, but I was the one that said they should be covered in goo
August 18, 2024 at 3:47 PM
HR Giger came up with all the Alien designs, but I was the one that said they should be covered in goo
Like, comment, and subscribe for more great Vampir-Roman content!
August 14, 2024 at 3:55 PM
Like, comment, and subscribe for more great Vampir-Roman content!
This explains why my grandpa always said he stopped drinking wine "when they took the people out and ruined the flavor".
July 22, 2024 at 5:11 PM
This explains why my grandpa always said he stopped drinking wine "when they took the people out and ruined the flavor".
'Well, you seem dedicated and your resume says you have music industry experience. One last question before we make an offer: Can you promise not to murder her?'
'...'
'Did you hear the question?'
'I did. I just...well, *promise* is a strong word...'
'...'
'Did you hear the question?'
'I did. I just...well, *promise* is a strong word...'
June 10, 2024 at 5:08 PM
'Well, you seem dedicated and your resume says you have music industry experience. One last question before we make an offer: Can you promise not to murder her?'
'...'
'Did you hear the question?'
'I did. I just...well, *promise* is a strong word...'
'...'
'Did you hear the question?'
'I did. I just...well, *promise* is a strong word...'
On behalf of the nation's kooks, I'm withholding my endorsement until we know the worm's position on wokeness
May 10, 2024 at 5:00 PM
On behalf of the nation's kooks, I'm withholding my endorsement until we know the worm's position on wokeness
Back in my day, "quitting" meant something different than "doing the tasks of a given job to the expected standards"
April 28, 2024 at 4:55 PM
Back in my day, "quitting" meant something different than "doing the tasks of a given job to the expected standards"
Don't even talk to me if your cat's face isn't a saxophone
April 17, 2024 at 6:50 PM
Don't even talk to me if your cat's face isn't a saxophone
They also reportedly asked to find out if Jeremy *like* likes them
April 14, 2024 at 4:18 AM
They also reportedly asked to find out if Jeremy *like* likes them
'He's survived by his children and predeceased by all the people he stabbed to death.'
April 11, 2024 at 6:05 PM
'He's survived by his children and predeceased by all the people he stabbed to death.'
HA! HA! HA! HEE HEE HEE HEE! HYAR! HYAR! HYAR!
March 29, 2024 at 7:17 PM
HA! HA! HA! HEE HEE HEE HEE! HYAR! HYAR! HYAR!
My favorite X-Men is Reynolds Of The Mounted
March 20, 2024 at 5:35 PM
My favorite X-Men is Reynolds Of The Mounted
Rumour has it every single member of the Royal Family has been dead for weeks and this guy is now the King of England
March 19, 2024 at 7:45 PM
Rumour has it every single member of the Royal Family has been dead for weeks and this guy is now the King of England
Between this and the money he owes me personally, Bruno Mars is $50,000,046 in debt!
March 17, 2024 at 5:23 PM
Between this and the money he owes me personally, Bruno Mars is $50,000,046 in debt!