Ned Petrie
nedpetrie.bsky.social
Ned Petrie
@nedpetrie.bsky.social
If I'm getting this math correct, every 1 pill was going to somehow kill 5+ people - killing 1/3rd of the US population over three months. TO THINK THIS ALMOST HAPPENED.
April 30, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Occupation: TikTok Bootlegger
January 19, 2025 at 5:09 AM
And you chumps were telling me it was time to give my dead salmon hat to Goodwill.
November 28, 2024 at 4:27 PM
Yo Homes, smell ya later!
October 4, 2024 at 1:55 AM
September 17, 2024 at 2:48 PM
PARK RANGERS TALKING TO THE FAMILY OF THE MISSING HIKER:

'The bad news is we never found your husband. But on the bright side...'
August 29, 2024 at 4:31 PM
It's a simple question, yet none of the so-called "experts" can give us a straight answer
August 28, 2024 at 4:22 PM
They hate me cuz they ain't me

#greenpicklecar
August 24, 2024 at 4:00 PM
DO YOUR BIT, YOU SKATE-LESS JERKS!
August 23, 2024 at 11:31 AM
HR Giger came up with all the Alien designs, but I was the one that said they should be covered in goo
August 18, 2024 at 3:47 PM
Like, comment, and subscribe for more great Vampir-Roman content!
August 14, 2024 at 3:55 PM
This explains why my grandpa always said he stopped drinking wine "when they took the people out and ruined the flavor".
July 22, 2024 at 5:11 PM
A lot going on here
July 17, 2024 at 3:14 PM
'Well, you seem dedicated and your resume says you have music industry experience. One last question before we make an offer: Can you promise not to murder her?'
'...'
'Did you hear the question?'
'I did. I just...well, *promise* is a strong word...'
June 10, 2024 at 5:08 PM
On behalf of the nation's kooks, I'm withholding my endorsement until we know the worm's position on wokeness
May 10, 2024 at 5:00 PM
Back in my day, "quitting" meant something different than "doing the tasks of a given job to the expected standards"
April 28, 2024 at 4:55 PM
Don't even talk to me if your cat's face isn't a saxophone
April 17, 2024 at 6:50 PM
They also reportedly asked to find out if Jeremy *like* likes them
April 14, 2024 at 4:18 AM
'He's survived by his children and predeceased by all the people he stabbed to death.'
April 11, 2024 at 6:05 PM
April 9, 2024 at 2:45 PM
April 8, 2024 at 4:42 PM
HA! HA! HA! HEE HEE HEE HEE! HYAR! HYAR! HYAR!
March 29, 2024 at 7:17 PM
My favorite X-Men is Reynolds Of The Mounted
March 20, 2024 at 5:35 PM
Rumour has it every single member of the Royal Family has been dead for weeks and this guy is now the King of England
March 19, 2024 at 7:45 PM
Between this and the money he owes me personally, Bruno Mars is $50,000,046 in debt!
March 17, 2024 at 5:23 PM