As a reminder: you’re not morally superior for being vegan or vegetarian ☺️

Happy Halloween! I dressed a hotter version of myself, which is ironically just Nancy from The Craft

When tf did Timmy turner get a fairy dog?! When did Jorgen break up with the tooth fairy?!

Theory on what the spice girls really really wanted. Because no one can figure out what “zigga zig ahh” is. I am 100% sure they just wanted a cigarette. “A ciggy cig! Ahhh☺️”

The world could have been better had the Cullens just stopped going to high school and decided to be “child prodigy’s” instead.

I’ve said it before, but my therapist is a literal goddess, and I would die for them.
Also love how they remind me “you’re not at all like your dad.”

I have a sudden urge to wear linen- I fear retirement to a beach is looming🤷🏼

Wtf do you mean the government is collapsing but I still have to file my taxes?!

All of my coworkers think I’m 20ish and wow that’s just amazing. Thanks so much 🥺

Got misgendered in the most wonderful way the other day.
Lady at work was like “you’ve been a busy boy! … sorry, busy person!”
And like I hope she has an amazing new year.

Overheard a woman at work talking about how she voted for trump. But she doesn’t tell people because “it’s not worth losing friends over”

And then later she was talking to another coworker about dating and said “but don’t mess with my daughter!”
Ma’am you literally voted her rights away.

Working Black Friday was a mistake. I’m ready for death. It’s been two hours.

My super secret red flag: I’m such a good introvert that I become an extrovert. And then people like me. 😭

Glinda would have voted for trump. 😳

I genuinely do not understand the vitriol regarding the statement "audiobooks count as reading." Your brain is still processing language, story, and themes. You’re just multitasking while crushing your TBR. Efficiency and literacy win.

This is a real team effort, fellow patriots. 🇺🇸