yes this is my cover letter to my application to work at @theonion.com

ope, the shittiest one just bought a 3-page ad campaign with the paper and is now the clear frontrunner. This is beside the facts that they killed the person leading the charge to organize a union and only sell reheated mcdonalds coffee.

subject line makes it sound like they're calling you an ass.

disclaimer is making me think it's sexual.

I'm really rooting for Xet's Fucking Go

700 miles is a long drive inside a car

This is crazy. Do it again in the Midwest tho?

Did they actually say "Trantifa"? Cuz that kinda fucks...

Guess that march deadline was in march and not 3 weeks ago, which is what it kinda felt like. Thanks for the check.

…aren’t you like, the only candidate that released like, all their financials publicly as part of some FEC reporting thing?

never reposted something so quickly