Nasgoth
@nasgoth.bsky.social
Writing, creating, and plotting world domination
I HATE this!
I have a whole list of things I want to do and the time to do them, but I can't seem to make myself do anything at all.
I have a whole list of things I want to do and the time to do them, but I can't seem to make myself do anything at all.
November 22, 2025 at 7:00 PM
I HATE this!
I have a whole list of things I want to do and the time to do them, but I can't seem to make myself do anything at all.
I have a whole list of things I want to do and the time to do them, but I can't seem to make myself do anything at all.
One of the smallest words in the entirety of the English language is also one of the most interminably confounding concepts upon which to ruminate. Which obviously means I am doing just that. Why?
November 20, 2025 at 4:00 AM
One of the smallest words in the entirety of the English language is also one of the most interminably confounding concepts upon which to ruminate. Which obviously means I am doing just that. Why?
Having one of those weeks where it feels like the world sort of bumped up intensity on all the things that irritate me. Sounds are louder, smells are more unpleasant, idiots are more infuriating, and the background noise of physical pains is drumming for foreground places
November 14, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Having one of those weeks where it feels like the world sort of bumped up intensity on all the things that irritate me. Sounds are louder, smells are more unpleasant, idiots are more infuriating, and the background noise of physical pains is drumming for foreground places
Trying to find a reason to take care of myself. Don't seem to have one. That do it for yourself or to feel better/live longer crap is meaningless to me. No kids. No partner. Last dog died a year ago. Literally no reason to care about extending the ride. So why should I again?
November 8, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Trying to find a reason to take care of myself. Don't seem to have one. That do it for yourself or to feel better/live longer crap is meaningless to me. No kids. No partner. Last dog died a year ago. Literally no reason to care about extending the ride. So why should I again?
Always tired. Can never truly rest. Somehow, still not dead.
November 8, 2025 at 6:45 AM
Always tired. Can never truly rest. Somehow, still not dead.
So, when I'm working, days are long and exhausting due to the stress of the job and the fact that I'm mentally locked in for like 10-12 hours. But when I'm NOT working, days are long because my mind isn't locked in, and I'm constantly pulling myself from mental vortices. Damn
November 7, 2025 at 1:57 AM
So, when I'm working, days are long and exhausting due to the stress of the job and the fact that I'm mentally locked in for like 10-12 hours. But when I'm NOT working, days are long because my mind isn't locked in, and I'm constantly pulling myself from mental vortices. Damn
Its... getting bad again. I can see the fringes of it already.
Nothing hold my interest. No desire for human contact. No drive to do anything really. Constantly waiting to just cease. Guess I still haven't figured out what balance is for me in this life.
Nothing hold my interest. No desire for human contact. No drive to do anything really. Constantly waiting to just cease. Guess I still haven't figured out what balance is for me in this life.
October 21, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Its... getting bad again. I can see the fringes of it already.
Nothing hold my interest. No desire for human contact. No drive to do anything really. Constantly waiting to just cease. Guess I still haven't figured out what balance is for me in this life.
Nothing hold my interest. No desire for human contact. No drive to do anything really. Constantly waiting to just cease. Guess I still haven't figured out what balance is for me in this life.
The title for today:
Don't stress. Make poor decisions. Find enjoyment.
Don't stress. Make poor decisions. Find enjoyment.
October 17, 2025 at 5:41 PM
The title for today:
Don't stress. Make poor decisions. Find enjoyment.
Don't stress. Make poor decisions. Find enjoyment.
Have you ever stopped and looked at just how it looks when you break?
Granted, not everyone breaks in this life, but those of us for whom this world was not built break multiple times throughout life.
I know what it looks like for me intimately.
Granted, not everyone breaks in this life, but those of us for whom this world was not built break multiple times throughout life.
I know what it looks like for me intimately.
October 8, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Have you ever stopped and looked at just how it looks when you break?
Granted, not everyone breaks in this life, but those of us for whom this world was not built break multiple times throughout life.
I know what it looks like for me intimately.
Granted, not everyone breaks in this life, but those of us for whom this world was not built break multiple times throughout life.
I know what it looks like for me intimately.
It's 7pm
I feel remarkably like I've been hit by a truck, based on personal experience
I'm going to see if for ONCE my brain will let me sleep
10 hours disconnected from the world sounds lovely
I feel remarkably like I've been hit by a truck, based on personal experience
I'm going to see if for ONCE my brain will let me sleep
10 hours disconnected from the world sounds lovely
October 7, 2025 at 1:58 AM
It's 7pm
I feel remarkably like I've been hit by a truck, based on personal experience
I'm going to see if for ONCE my brain will let me sleep
10 hours disconnected from the world sounds lovely
I feel remarkably like I've been hit by a truck, based on personal experience
I'm going to see if for ONCE my brain will let me sleep
10 hours disconnected from the world sounds lovely
Having one of those periods where everything seems to be just off...
I keep typing over things and waking into things and randomly hurting myself in the stupidest of ways.
It's frustrating as fuck and more I've got torn up hands and random bruises and I'm just fucking tired
I keep typing over things and waking into things and randomly hurting myself in the stupidest of ways.
It's frustrating as fuck and more I've got torn up hands and random bruises and I'm just fucking tired
September 29, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Having one of those periods where everything seems to be just off...
I keep typing over things and waking into things and randomly hurting myself in the stupidest of ways.
It's frustrating as fuck and more I've got torn up hands and random bruises and I'm just fucking tired
I keep typing over things and waking into things and randomly hurting myself in the stupidest of ways.
It's frustrating as fuck and more I've got torn up hands and random bruises and I'm just fucking tired
I am realizing that I have been in something like a constant state of overload for at least the past year. I have a mild panic attack any time a phone rings, I fight down the urge to bellow in frustration any time my phone buzzes with a notification,
September 20, 2025 at 3:54 AM
I am realizing that I have been in something like a constant state of overload for at least the past year. I have a mild panic attack any time a phone rings, I fight down the urge to bellow in frustration any time my phone buzzes with a notification,
Been having the kind of days where no matter how I evaluate it, my existence seems meaningless apart from potentially paying penance. Nobody needs me. Nobody wants me only what I can do for them. I make no difference. I make no impact. I just suffer day after day after day
September 4, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Been having the kind of days where no matter how I evaluate it, my existence seems meaningless apart from potentially paying penance. Nobody needs me. Nobody wants me only what I can do for them. I make no difference. I make no impact. I just suffer day after day after day
How much is too much?
Upon evaluation, I find I have shaved down the edges, hidden large portions, and installed filters and restrictions upon every aspect of my behavior in order to make it palatable for society at large.
I'm more than a little tired of never really being me
Upon evaluation, I find I have shaved down the edges, hidden large portions, and installed filters and restrictions upon every aspect of my behavior in order to make it palatable for society at large.
I'm more than a little tired of never really being me
August 24, 2025 at 9:01 PM
How much is too much?
Upon evaluation, I find I have shaved down the edges, hidden large portions, and installed filters and restrictions upon every aspect of my behavior in order to make it palatable for society at large.
I'm more than a little tired of never really being me
Upon evaluation, I find I have shaved down the edges, hidden large portions, and installed filters and restrictions upon every aspect of my behavior in order to make it palatable for society at large.
I'm more than a little tired of never really being me
Life gets a little long when you spend it waiting for the end
August 24, 2025 at 6:05 AM
Life gets a little long when you spend it waiting for the end
You know...
My head is a really convoluted and confusing place.
I had my most peaceful day in I don't know how long. I worked no more than 2 hours and only had to deal with 2 phone calls.
And yet I feel painfully lonely and detached from the world. Depression and contrary personality traits suck.
My head is a really convoluted and confusing place.
I had my most peaceful day in I don't know how long. I worked no more than 2 hours and only had to deal with 2 phone calls.
And yet I feel painfully lonely and detached from the world. Depression and contrary personality traits suck.
August 18, 2025 at 3:28 AM
You know...
My head is a really convoluted and confusing place.
I had my most peaceful day in I don't know how long. I worked no more than 2 hours and only had to deal with 2 phone calls.
And yet I feel painfully lonely and detached from the world. Depression and contrary personality traits suck.
My head is a really convoluted and confusing place.
I had my most peaceful day in I don't know how long. I worked no more than 2 hours and only had to deal with 2 phone calls.
And yet I feel painfully lonely and detached from the world. Depression and contrary personality traits suck.
Thinking it is time to hot the reset button.
I've spent way way too much of my life utterly focused on work. In addition, I've spent nearly all of it wearing a multitude of masks.
I'm sick of it. Going to focus some time on myself and my own happiness and not constantly masking.
I've spent way way too much of my life utterly focused on work. In addition, I've spent nearly all of it wearing a multitude of masks.
I'm sick of it. Going to focus some time on myself and my own happiness and not constantly masking.
August 11, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Thinking it is time to hot the reset button.
I've spent way way too much of my life utterly focused on work. In addition, I've spent nearly all of it wearing a multitude of masks.
I'm sick of it. Going to focus some time on myself and my own happiness and not constantly masking.
I've spent way way too much of my life utterly focused on work. In addition, I've spent nearly all of it wearing a multitude of masks.
I'm sick of it. Going to focus some time on myself and my own happiness and not constantly masking.
Well crap. I went and thought about it.
I calculate that about 95% of my smiles are performative. I wonder how many people have interacted with me for years and never saw a real smile. Would they be able to tell if they did?
I calculate that about 95% of my smiles are performative. I wonder how many people have interacted with me for years and never saw a real smile. Would they be able to tell if they did?
July 30, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Well crap. I went and thought about it.
I calculate that about 95% of my smiles are performative. I wonder how many people have interacted with me for years and never saw a real smile. Would they be able to tell if they did?
I calculate that about 95% of my smiles are performative. I wonder how many people have interacted with me for years and never saw a real smile. Would they be able to tell if they did?
When you're the kind of person that never asks for help and you find yourself in that place where everything is meaningless and nothing helps, it's always fun to realize that no one around you recognizes what the hell a request for help actually looks like from you.
July 30, 2025 at 2:15 AM
When you're the kind of person that never asks for help and you find yourself in that place where everything is meaningless and nothing helps, it's always fun to realize that no one around you recognizes what the hell a request for help actually looks like from you.
I'm starting to think I'm having a problem again. I'm a reader, a gamer, and a lover of nature of anime and of live music.
Not a single of them holds my attention. Nothing makes me feel pleasure. The best I can muster is temporary distraction.
Not a single of them holds my attention. Nothing makes me feel pleasure. The best I can muster is temporary distraction.
July 27, 2025 at 10:00 PM
I'm starting to think I'm having a problem again. I'm a reader, a gamer, and a lover of nature of anime and of live music.
Not a single of them holds my attention. Nothing makes me feel pleasure. The best I can muster is temporary distraction.
Not a single of them holds my attention. Nothing makes me feel pleasure. The best I can muster is temporary distraction.
Stressed. Overwhelmed. Trying to get myself back above water. My family doesn't know what the fuck it means to leave me be. Bugging me with random, pointless, annoying shit every other fucking day. I ask for a couple of weeks of space and silence, I get a day at best.
July 21, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Stressed. Overwhelmed. Trying to get myself back above water. My family doesn't know what the fuck it means to leave me be. Bugging me with random, pointless, annoying shit every other fucking day. I ask for a couple of weeks of space and silence, I get a day at best.
Having one of those days where I find myself lamenting the fact that I am so broken,abnormal, and difficult.
The kind of day where I really just wish I could be normal
The kind of day where I really just wish I could be normal
July 20, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Having one of those days where I find myself lamenting the fact that I am so broken,abnormal, and difficult.
The kind of day where I really just wish I could be normal
The kind of day where I really just wish I could be normal
In the name of all the gods...
Why can't I just get some restful fucking sleep!?
Why can't I just get some restful fucking sleep!?
July 13, 2025 at 5:13 AM
In the name of all the gods...
Why can't I just get some restful fucking sleep!?
Why can't I just get some restful fucking sleep!?
Have you ever found yourself contemplating how long you would have to go "offline" before anyone starts to worry or bothers to come looking?
July 12, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Have you ever found yourself contemplating how long you would have to go "offline" before anyone starts to worry or bothers to come looking?
You know...
I don't think general human interaction is worth it.
I have to filter and restrict and assess my own behavior so much for every interaction. It's exhausting.
From now on, you get all of me or none of me unless you're feeding me fucking me, or funding me.
I don't think general human interaction is worth it.
I have to filter and restrict and assess my own behavior so much for every interaction. It's exhausting.
From now on, you get all of me or none of me unless you're feeding me fucking me, or funding me.
June 28, 2025 at 8:20 PM
You know...
I don't think general human interaction is worth it.
I have to filter and restrict and assess my own behavior so much for every interaction. It's exhausting.
From now on, you get all of me or none of me unless you're feeding me fucking me, or funding me.
I don't think general human interaction is worth it.
I have to filter and restrict and assess my own behavior so much for every interaction. It's exhausting.
From now on, you get all of me or none of me unless you're feeding me fucking me, or funding me.