I dislike being sick nearly as much as I like making small talk, so I expect I shall always wear a high-quality mask whenever I leave my home. Anything to protect my family (and avoid social interaction)!

Delete this libel immediately. My son—a Hogwarts Seeker AND Prefect, I might add—only takes perfectly TASTEFUL photographs of his feet, purely for artistic purposes. I pity anyone who can't see the inherent artistry in a young man frolicking barefoot through butterbeer.

Also, what is a crookshank?