Naptime Hero
@naptimehero.bsky.social
Huge nerd and beard enthusiast. I say silly things sometimes
I've apparently been sleeping on Meghan Trainor. My bad.
September 29, 2025 at 6:40 AM
I've apparently been sleeping on Meghan Trainor. My bad.
Overheard at the bar:
"You're stripes!"
"I know I missed!"
"You're stripes!"
"I know I missed!"
September 8, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Overheard at the bar:
"You're stripes!"
"I know I missed!"
"You're stripes!"
"I know I missed!"
Interaction I just had at the store:
Random dude: Did you bring the leashes?
Me: Ah dang no I didn't.
R: Here's what you got a do. Go see Auntie Cheryl and get the leashes.
M: Oh cool, thanks for letting me know!
R: You're welcome!
Random dude: Did you bring the leashes?
Me: Ah dang no I didn't.
R: Here's what you got a do. Go see Auntie Cheryl and get the leashes.
M: Oh cool, thanks for letting me know!
R: You're welcome!
August 23, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Interaction I just had at the store:
Random dude: Did you bring the leashes?
Me: Ah dang no I didn't.
R: Here's what you got a do. Go see Auntie Cheryl and get the leashes.
M: Oh cool, thanks for letting me know!
R: You're welcome!
Random dude: Did you bring the leashes?
Me: Ah dang no I didn't.
R: Here's what you got a do. Go see Auntie Cheryl and get the leashes.
M: Oh cool, thanks for letting me know!
R: You're welcome!
Anyone else get irrationally mad when they be the hiccups? #fuckhiccups
July 1, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Anyone else get irrationally mad when they be the hiccups? #fuckhiccups
June 21, 2025 at 6:27 AM
I'll keep you me dirty little secret (dirty little secret), don't tell anyone or you'll be just another egret (just another egret)
a white bird with a long neck is standing in a grassy field
ALT: a white bird with a long neck is standing in a grassy field
media.tenor.com
May 26, 2025 at 2:16 AM
I'll keep you me dirty little secret (dirty little secret), don't tell anyone or you'll be just another egret (just another egret)
Me: I'm going to have late night chips and cheese
Cat: mrow
Me: excuse me?
Cat: meow!
Me: I AM going to have late night chips and cheese and YOU CAN'T STOP ME
Cat: mrow
Me: excuse me?
Cat: meow!
Me: I AM going to have late night chips and cheese and YOU CAN'T STOP ME
May 21, 2025 at 5:43 AM
Me: I'm going to have late night chips and cheese
Cat: mrow
Me: excuse me?
Cat: meow!
Me: I AM going to have late night chips and cheese and YOU CAN'T STOP ME
Cat: mrow
Me: excuse me?
Cat: meow!
Me: I AM going to have late night chips and cheese and YOU CAN'T STOP ME
Present me: Midnight Taco Bell is a great idea!
Future me: Midnight Taco Bell was a horrible idea!
Future me: Midnight Taco Bell was a horrible idea!
March 13, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Present me: Midnight Taco Bell is a great idea!
Future me: Midnight Taco Bell was a horrible idea!
Future me: Midnight Taco Bell was a horrible idea!
Time to see how many people's days I can ruin at the airport(s)
March 10, 2025 at 8:20 AM
Time to see how many people's days I can ruin at the airport(s)
Listening to my cousin talk about how a seagull ate the polish off her toe nail. #JustFloridaThings
March 10, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Listening to my cousin talk about how a seagull ate the polish off her toe nail. #JustFloridaThings
I'm going to start joining the conversations of people talking on speakerphone in public
March 7, 2025 at 12:36 AM
I'm going to start joining the conversations of people talking on speakerphone in public
As I sit here on the dance floor with bubbles breaking over my face, I think about the decisions that led me to here. That's pretty cool, man.
March 2, 2025 at 6:50 AM
As I sit here on the dance floor with bubbles breaking over my face, I think about the decisions that led me to here. That's pretty cool, man.
I'm a slut for string cheese
February 17, 2025 at 3:43 PM
I'm a slut for string cheese
I've not seen a group of people look like they're having less fun than country line dancers at this bar I'm at... #outofmyelement
February 15, 2025 at 4:19 AM
I've not seen a group of people look like they're having less fun than country line dancers at this bar I'm at... #outofmyelement
When did people stop following elevator etiquette? Someone almost ran straight into me because they practically ran in before I had a chance to leave
February 15, 2025 at 12:51 AM
When did people stop following elevator etiquette? Someone almost ran straight into me because they practically ran in before I had a chance to leave
Getting on the elevator in the middle of the night while carrying this. I'm a normal human person
February 13, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Getting on the elevator in the middle of the night while carrying this. I'm a normal human person
What am I most excited for in the new year? Hanging up my new Bob Ross calendar.
December 26, 2024 at 4:10 PM
What am I most excited for in the new year? Hanging up my new Bob Ross calendar.
New tradition of mine is to donate to @lustgarten.org on my dad's birthday.
December 24, 2024 at 1:14 PM
New tradition of mine is to donate to @lustgarten.org on my dad's birthday.
I miss the short time when people were respectful of my personal space. If I'm in line and take a half step back and bump into you YOURE TOO DAMN CLOSE
December 23, 2024 at 9:01 PM
I miss the short time when people were respectful of my personal space. If I'm in line and take a half step back and bump into you YOURE TOO DAMN CLOSE
Walking home tonight.
"That's weird, the crossing light is out. I wonde-oh...."
"That's weird, the crossing light is out. I wonde-oh...."
December 22, 2024 at 4:54 AM
Walking home tonight.
"That's weird, the crossing light is out. I wonde-oh...."
"That's weird, the crossing light is out. I wonde-oh...."
As a kid I never understood why Garfield hated Monday's so much. I get it now
December 16, 2024 at 1:42 PM
As a kid I never understood why Garfield hated Monday's so much. I get it now
I've been inside all day today and just took a look at the weather for the first time
December 13, 2024 at 1:22 AM
I've been inside all day today and just took a look at the weather for the first time
I just got so stressed watching someone pull out of the parallel parking spot. First they almost backed into the car behind them. Then they almost clipped the car in front on the way out.
December 8, 2024 at 1:58 AM
I just got so stressed watching someone pull out of the parallel parking spot. First they almost backed into the car behind them. Then they almost clipped the car in front on the way out.
My absolute favorite part of winter is getting static shocked by damn near everything
December 4, 2024 at 4:45 PM
My absolute favorite part of winter is getting static shocked by damn near everything
Set a pb for going to the store 2 days before Thanksgiving
November 26, 2024 at 9:54 PM
Set a pb for going to the store 2 days before Thanksgiving