Naomi Alderman
@naomialderman.bsky.social
I write novels (eg The Power, new novel is The Future), I make games (eg Zombies, Run!), unorthodox Jew. not-getting-into-pointless-arguments-on-the-internet is an act of revolution. However complex you think things are, they're more complex than that
oh, here is my narrative patch for Skyfall: final confrontation, Silva grabs M, using her as a human shield. Bond has a clear shot with a high-powered rifle but it would have to *go through* M. M makes eye contact with Bond and says: "take the shot". see, like at the start with Moneypenny. Scene.
November 11, 2025 at 5:03 PM
oh, here is my narrative patch for Skyfall: final confrontation, Silva grabs M, using her as a human shield. Bond has a clear shot with a high-powered rifle but it would have to *go through* M. M makes eye contact with Bond and says: "take the shot". see, like at the start with Moneypenny. Scene.
I thought it as I came out of the cinema!
November 11, 2025 at 5:00 PM
I thought it as I came out of the cinema!
(I put this down to having had 20 years of therapy with my beloved late therapist Sally Henry, who I started seeing when I lived in Manhattan. Any British bantz I used to have are gone from me. I am fully American as to sincerity.)
November 11, 2025 at 4:46 PM
(I put this down to having had 20 years of therapy with my beloved late therapist Sally Henry, who I started seeing when I lived in Manhattan. Any British bantz I used to have are gone from me. I am fully American as to sincerity.)
yes, I hope I'm also funny! but also just INCREDIBLY earnest.
November 11, 2025 at 4:44 PM
yes, I hope I'm also funny! but also just INCREDIBLY earnest.
I am a RELENTLESSLY sincere person unfortunately.
November 11, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I am a RELENTLESSLY sincere person unfortunately.
I confess to not having ever read a single Jilly Cooper? I watched I think 1.5 episodes of Rivals until a man sexually assaulted a waitress at a party and she dropped a cake, and I think I was *supposed* to find it funny and saucy but I didn't and switched off.
November 11, 2025 at 4:41 PM
I confess to not having ever read a single Jilly Cooper? I watched I think 1.5 episodes of Rivals until a man sexually assaulted a waitress at a party and she dropped a cake, and I think I was *supposed* to find it funny and saucy but I didn't and switched off.
come on though, Skyfall is *about* the inevitable death of the Queen and her replacement with a bit of an awkward balding man who we don't like as much
November 11, 2025 at 4:39 PM
come on though, Skyfall is *about* the inevitable death of the Queen and her replacement with a bit of an awkward balding man who we don't like as much
ah, Mission Impossible
November 11, 2025 at 3:11 PM
ah, Mission Impossible
so it's the middle of the night in a peaceful environmental camp when the oil company sends in the armed soldiers who are not fussy about how they get the job done. Bond is armed only with a biro and the ladle from last night's vegan stew and manages to dispatch 12 soldiers & capture the leader.
November 11, 2025 at 3:10 PM
so it's the middle of the night in a peaceful environmental camp when the oil company sends in the armed soldiers who are not fussy about how they get the job done. Bond is armed only with a biro and the ladle from last night's vegan stew and manages to dispatch 12 soldiers & capture the leader.
I like this, but I would still go young. A former high-flyer who left the intelligence services, disgusted at the corruption and self-defeating grubbiness of it. Now working at something *extremely good*. maybe eg a protestor against big oil. But can kill the armed enforcers who attack the camp.
November 11, 2025 at 3:09 PM
I like this, but I would still go young. A former high-flyer who left the intelligence services, disgusted at the corruption and self-defeating grubbiness of it. Now working at something *extremely good*. maybe eg a protestor against big oil. But can kill the armed enforcers who attack the camp.
I think you and I could probably get a format deal for it if we *wanted*. Just one more thing...
November 11, 2025 at 3:07 PM
I think you and I could probably get a format deal for it if we *wanted*. Just one more thing...
yes me too. but, counterpoint: on some level this *is* work.
November 11, 2025 at 3:05 PM
yes me too. but, counterpoint: on some level this *is* work.
this is the problem. *this* is the problem.
November 11, 2025 at 3:05 PM
this is the problem. *this* is the problem.
I think you might be stuck with "superhero who fights crime"
November 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I think you might be stuck with "superhero who fights crime"
the trouble is that the world is determined to act out a bunch of Bond plots. "wait, the richest man on earth who wants to set up a colony on Mars?" or... "an incredibly rich and powerful man who has built a secret lair, er, bunker seventeen storeys down in New Zealand?"
November 11, 2025 at 3:02 PM
the trouble is that the world is determined to act out a bunch of Bond plots. "wait, the richest man on earth who wants to set up a colony on Mars?" or... "an incredibly rich and powerful man who has built a secret lair, er, bunker seventeen storeys down in New Zealand?"
IF IT'S MOONRAKER IT READS AS ELON MUSK, Dr Stylite.
November 11, 2025 at 3:01 PM
IF IT'S MOONRAKER IT READS AS ELON MUSK, Dr Stylite.
yeah. but then Nick, what do you do with it? I mean really. Bond, fine, is fun. so we imagine a version of Britain where we have a good relationship with Europe and the US isn't fascist and we're all fighting... fine, OK, apolitical: a crime boss who runs mafias in 25 cities around the world
November 11, 2025 at 2:58 PM
yeah. but then Nick, what do you do with it? I mean really. Bond, fine, is fun. so we imagine a version of Britain where we have a good relationship with Europe and the US isn't fascist and we're all fighting... fine, OK, apolitical: a crime boss who runs mafias in 25 cities around the world
you could just do it retro and set it in the 1960s, but I think that is to give up the 'now'ness that makes Bond work.
if we wanted to *not* target Felix/the Cousins the obvious enemy would be analogues for eg QAnon, 4Chan. maybe North Korea and Russia work somehow? (but maybe not)
if we wanted to *not* target Felix/the Cousins the obvious enemy would be analogues for eg QAnon, 4Chan. maybe North Korea and Russia work somehow? (but maybe not)
November 11, 2025 at 2:51 PM
you could just do it retro and set it in the 1960s, but I think that is to give up the 'now'ness that makes Bond work.
if we wanted to *not* target Felix/the Cousins the obvious enemy would be analogues for eg QAnon, 4Chan. maybe North Korea and Russia work somehow? (but maybe not)
if we wanted to *not* target Felix/the Cousins the obvious enemy would be analogues for eg QAnon, 4Chan. maybe North Korea and Russia work somehow? (but maybe not)
...what they need to do is take a view on what Britain should be, and could be, and lead from that. all those views are likely to be quite *salty* though. I mean I would personally start it with a young new Bond (30 max) introducing a Stuxxnet into the US's nuclear program & blaming on Switzerland
November 11, 2025 at 2:46 PM
...what they need to do is take a view on what Britain should be, and could be, and lead from that. all those views are likely to be quite *salty* though. I mean I would personally start it with a young new Bond (30 max) introducing a Stuxxnet into the US's nuclear program & blaming on Switzerland
the problem is that he's supposed to represent Britain and Britain isn't *quite* sure what it's for anymore. when we made cool stuff and were quite suave (or wanted to think we were) then he was a good avatar. but now what? we've already tried self-destruction but like Bond we're still alive...
November 11, 2025 at 2:43 PM
the problem is that he's supposed to represent Britain and Britain isn't *quite* sure what it's for anymore. when we made cool stuff and were quite suave (or wanted to think we were) then he was a good avatar. but now what? we've already tried self-destruction but like Bond we're still alive...
(also I do agree with Adam on the quoteunquote twist so...) it's not quite a life ruined. it's a life. marked and harmed, but a life. and one where a corner of character salvation remains. enough salvation that one does not feel that the rest will necessarily be all-of-a-piece.
November 11, 2025 at 1:51 PM
(also I do agree with Adam on the quoteunquote twist so...) it's not quite a life ruined. it's a life. marked and harmed, but a life. and one where a corner of character salvation remains. enough salvation that one does not feel that the rest will necessarily be all-of-a-piece.
yes I will have to agree to disagree with Adam! I disagree *quite* a lot and even disagree that it's a novel with 'sex' (let alone bonking!) in it. I think it's only a novel about what 'sex' is like for someone with unresolved and unacknowledged deadening numbing sexual trauma.
November 11, 2025 at 1:48 PM
yes I will have to agree to disagree with Adam! I disagree *quite* a lot and even disagree that it's a novel with 'sex' (let alone bonking!) in it. I think it's only a novel about what 'sex' is like for someone with unresolved and unacknowledged deadening numbing sexual trauma.
fundamentally, what I perceive every time I work with the BBC is an institution under attack and feeling embattled, where still the vast majority of people want to make good public service programmes which inform, educate and entertain. internally, it's not roiling with hatred or bias.
November 11, 2025 at 10:52 AM
fundamentally, what I perceive every time I work with the BBC is an institution under attack and feeling embattled, where still the vast majority of people want to make good public service programmes which inform, educate and entertain. internally, it's not roiling with hatred or bias.