@mztwist.bsky.social
Jump to recipe, dammit
July 22, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Jump to recipe, dammit
My dog has had better medical care in the year I’ve had her than I had my entire childhood.
April 27, 2025 at 12:55 AM
My dog has had better medical care in the year I’ve had her than I had my entire childhood.
The Gypsy Tiny Desk Concert has me so hyped I could paint the exterior of my house
April 23, 2025 at 3:31 AM
The Gypsy Tiny Desk Concert has me so hyped I could paint the exterior of my house
I’m trying to make it through The Residence but this shit is so drawn out I’m just about to fast-forward through the last episode
April 2, 2025 at 1:25 AM
I’m trying to make it through The Residence but this shit is so drawn out I’m just about to fast-forward through the last episode
Listening to Scott Simon bitching about Monopoly switching to a banking app is going to put me in a bad mood all day.
March 15, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Listening to Scott Simon bitching about Monopoly switching to a banking app is going to put me in a bad mood all day.
The youngest brother on High Point looks like an AI-generated version of Jason Bateman
March 7, 2025 at 2:48 PM
The youngest brother on High Point looks like an AI-generated version of Jason Bateman
If you still put two spaces after a period, I don’t need to hear your opinions.
February 23, 2025 at 2:47 AM
If you still put two spaces after a period, I don’t need to hear your opinions.
Taco Bell knows damn well they should be charging $3.50 at most for those little pull-apart burritos
February 17, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Taco Bell knows damn well they should be charging $3.50 at most for those little pull-apart burritos
Shopify, you better get your shit together
February 11, 2025 at 5:27 AM
Shopify, you better get your shit together
So what if I get addicted to nasal spray?
January 22, 2025 at 3:39 AM
So what if I get addicted to nasal spray?
Tiktok is back besties
January 19, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Tiktok is back besties
I’m watching music videos on YouTube like it’s 2011
January 19, 2025 at 4:31 AM
I’m watching music videos on YouTube like it’s 2011
Everyone raves about credit unions, but my regular bank doesn’t take a week to transfer funds
January 8, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Everyone raves about credit unions, but my regular bank doesn’t take a week to transfer funds
If I had a dishwasher, I would be too powerful.
December 30, 2024 at 1:07 AM
If I had a dishwasher, I would be too powerful.
No one cares about your Wordle
December 29, 2024 at 11:41 PM
No one cares about your Wordle
Made chicken and rice in my crock pot, but let it cook too long and ended up with delicious congee.
December 29, 2024 at 12:21 PM
Made chicken and rice in my crock pot, but let it cook too long and ended up with delicious congee.
Merry Christmas from this angel who bit her cousin on Christmas Eve
December 25, 2024 at 2:33 PM
Merry Christmas from this angel who bit her cousin on Christmas Eve
I had to wrap 2 gifts and I almost called to cancel my plans
December 24, 2024 at 9:19 PM
I had to wrap 2 gifts and I almost called to cancel my plans
Do fish pass gas?
December 22, 2024 at 1:36 AM
Do fish pass gas?
Part of running for any office should include successfully completing several instacart deliveries.
December 11, 2024 at 6:32 PM
Part of running for any office should include successfully completing several instacart deliveries.
Can’t wait to go to the holiday party for my side gig this week and give the cold shoulder to everyone who didn’t wish me happy birthday in the group email
December 9, 2024 at 10:18 PM
Can’t wait to go to the holiday party for my side gig this week and give the cold shoulder to everyone who didn’t wish me happy birthday in the group email
Very humbling when the motion lights turn off while you’re in the room
December 8, 2024 at 3:00 PM
Very humbling when the motion lights turn off while you’re in the room
Banks should open at 6am
December 2, 2024 at 4:14 PM
Banks should open at 6am
I’m glad I stole from Walmart that time
November 28, 2024 at 2:01 AM
I’m glad I stole from Walmart that time
Three raccoons came into my home unannounced AMA
November 25, 2024 at 5:29 AM
Three raccoons came into my home unannounced AMA