“How are we prepping for Ramadan?” Idk sis. I’ve got protein bars and a prayer

Caught a guy peeing on my cybertruck. You're wasting your time idiot, it was already covered in piss from all the other people who did that today

Every time I go to TJMaxx when I get sad I feel like a real-life Reductress article

If you ever wanted to know my true politics

This is really just so ugly

Don’t ask me to explain this but I think whole-body deodorant is fascist

Meta what if I told you I was doing this right now. With my brain

Insane how this guy NEVER misses. youtu.be/mw4HR-080m0?...

I forget this app exists. Anyway today I spent an hour trying to find a book I read as a kid based solely off this fuzzed image I had in my head and the fact that I knew it was about dragons

Holiday baking was an ordeal but I miss it

Why go see Anora when I can see anora showing of the 2024 hit papal thriller Conclave featuring Oscar-nominated Ralph Fiennes.

Wish I could import all my banger tweets onto here but for now y’all will just have to trust in my future shitposting abilities