finally, after 29 years of life, i have seen a real live opossum!! fuck yeah

the feminine urge to tell every woman at ren fest how pretty they are

me: did you text dad for his birthday?
sister: who?

i will forever be chasing the feeling of watching bo burnham’s inside for the first time

i’m gonna switch things up this year and renew my car tabs before they expire

lmao i typed my sister’s name as Maddie at the bowling alley, and she erased it to put a lowercase m

i want semi truck drivers to think i’m a respectful driver