I will not be messy, I am better and I am happier, I have moved on, I do not care, I will not care

inner peace and prosperity for me

nobody ever wants to hold me.

they say they do but. what they're saying is they want to be held by me. they want comfort but never want to hold me back.

they even assure me they'll hold me, give me comfort in return, but then it never happens, or gets complained about afterwards

nobody should be forced to interact with me. I'm a fucking plague upon your lives.

if I were to cleave flesh until I was satisfied, I don't think there would be enough of me left to feel satisfaction.

"gock" this, "girldick" that just call it my queenis

thinking again about how I cant just have casual sex with new people anymore without disclosing I have fresh self harm scars, without opening with, "hey I'm actively unstable"

sucks

oops, did it again, couldn't take 5 days without some kinda high I guess

whoa !!

told my girlfriend I thought my self harm was derivative and (deservedly) got laughed at

the cross section of extreme perfectionism and severe mental illness is strange

work today was really busy, really bad, but I'm with my girlfriend and I'm safe and I'm feeling good rn

after spiraling really fucking bad last night and cutting again I talked with my aunt about how to move forward and idk, weird feeling

the tldr for this account is that I relapsed on cutting and need fucking somewhere I can vent about that that doesn't feel like I'm bothering someone lmao

it's just this ambient feeling of craving, but I don't fucking know what im craving

and the weight of it all.

I feel like I'm being compressed down by the weight of this feeling, by the weight of this need, this hunger

it's so fucking weird just feeling numb, numb and stupid and hungry and bored

so fucking hungry, so fucking bored

essentially made this account just to yell into void without subjecting like, my regular followers to that shit lmao follow at ur discretion