But the settlers sailed away after a month of two, and they left the King Can and his wife behind.” (I don’t know when the quote marks started)

-Elmer and his dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannet

how does the jaguar stack up for fuckability?

Do you do this often? I have like one dollar so I can’t go tonight but I’d love to hang out eventually if you’re doing poetry readings

“What are we, a vassal state?”

*lets the United States replace its military and run its foreign policy for 50 years*

and you're response to this will be to call your billionaires and ask them what they want to do. fuck you

men stop making podcasts and start picking up guitars

I literally sent this screenshot to a bunch of my friends

Nah that’s just you dawg. Although he’s been sick like a million times with heart trouble so you might have heard he was near death but then he recovered

Does subway count? Because the last subway sandwich I had was inedible. And as a gigantic fat ass, a sandwich had to basically be poison for me to not finish it

Ric flair is Jewish. He was adopted by a Jewish family. It’s actually bonkers, when he was born he was stolen from his birth parents by scam artists and no one knew for like a decade or two that it had happened. Obviously the people who adopted him had no idea about it until it hit the papers.

So sorry to hear that