I should probably stop expressing myself. i should be ashamed to be doing this on this fuckass account. I should be greatful im even (somehow) still here.

I really want things to get better, I really do. But whats the point in hoping when nothing even happens

Like. I want to kms WHY did i perform so badly, why will i never amount to anything what the fuck is wrong with me

Lowkey want to bash my head into a wall until my brain is mush I'm so pissed with myself rn

I would be screaming at myself to attempt again but HIGHKEY I've lost the willpower to even try. Lmao!!! I hate my fucking life to some small degree.

Why am I here.

Whicich is why im tryna change bags. I mighf still use my messenger one for my theatre stuff like rehersals, it's really useful and has a pretty decent capacity so I CAN still use it. ITS SO AWESOME THOO im so sad it hurts to use it :(

(Im tryna lose some weight.. thats why i eated yogurt n rice. I forgot to have breakfast FUCKKCKCKCKCKKKK)